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Quote by Craig Ferguson

“Today Monopoly added a new game piece: the cat. The new piece was chosen after weeks of online voting. Is that a surprise? Whenever there's a vote for something on the Internet, the cat always wins.”

Author

Craig Ferguson

English biography, 120-180 words more

“It's Earth Day today. Let me tell you something about polar bears. They're endangered but you have to be careful because a polar bear is one of the few animals that will stalk a human. If you go to where polar bears live, it might stalk you and when you're on the plane going home, it might be behind you reading.”

Ifs Humans Home Might Today Earth Reading Animal Behinds Bears Let Me Careful Planes Be Careful Behind You Stalking Earth Day Going Home Polar Bears

Author:Craig Ferguson

“I watched the Republican debate. At one point, the candidates said there are no classes in America, a point then hotly debated by all six rich white guys that were there.”

Said America Guy White Class Rich Republican Six Debate Candidates White Guys

Author:Craig Ferguson

“Justin Bieber's tour bus was stopped by Canadian border patrol agents. And they found marijuana. The agents said Bieber was a disgrace to Canada and should never come back. Then they found the marijuana.”

Should Said Found Agents Borders Canada Bus Marijuana Disgrace Justin Border Patrol

Author:Craig Ferguson

“Evil does not question itself. Only Hope questions itself.”

Doe Evil Infallibility Bumblebees

Book:Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel

Source: Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel

“Confession is a sacred rite enhanced by allegory, exaggeration, and lies.”

Lying Sacred Confession Exaggeration Rite Allegory

Book:Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel

Source: Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel

“My son's always showing me pictures of dinosaurs and asking me what their names are. I dont know so I make stuff up: That son is a thesaurus.”

Knows Names Stuff Son Asking My Son Dinosaurs Thesaurus

Author:Craig Ferguson

“If you absolutely believe that what you do is right, you're bullet-proof.”

Ifs Believe Proof Bullets

Author:Craig Ferguson

“I don't like my politicians entertaining me and I don't like my entertainers politicianing me.”

Politics Politician Entertaining Entertainers

Author:Craig Ferguson

“If you know anything about me - and, if you do, I'm sorry that your life turned out like that.”

Ifs Knows Sorry I'm Sorry

Author:Craig Ferguson

“The main reason for the failure of the modern medical science is that it is dealing with results and not causes. Nothing more than the patching up of those attacked and the burying of those who are slain, without a thought being given to the real strong hold.”

Real Reason Strong Given Causes Results Modern Medical Being Real Burying Medical Science

Book:The Bach Flower Remedies

Source: The Bach Flower Remedies

Quote by Craig Ferguson

Author

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