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The Cool Part of His Pillow

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Rodney Ross

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“Faith often comes from patience and remembering that sometimes patience is taking a deep breath and listening to that little voice on the inside saying, 'Don't worry, everything is going to be all right.”

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“For several moments he did not move from the doorway: he heard the girl’s soft, thin voice rise above the murmur of the assembled guests she served. She raised her head, and suddenly he met her eyes; they were pale and large and seemed to shine with a light within themselves. In some confusion he backed from the doorway and turned into the sitting room; he found an empty chair in a space by the wall, and he sat there looking at the carpet beneath his feet. He did not look in the direction of the dining room, but every now and then he thought he felt the gaze of the young woman brush warmly across his face.”

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“Who was she? I could ask. I could speak. It wasn't like me to be struck into silence by anything. But something kept my mouth from opening. I didn't have to see my reflection to know I was smiling now. It was like a scene from a movie. The kind with an epic soundtrack playing in the background. Oh... wait... there was an epic soundtrack playing in the background. That part wasn't my overactive imagination. I walked forward, aiming my steps toward the checkout desk at the center of the shop but keeping my eyes on the woman in the back as if hypnotized. She was climbing up one of the library ladders now. Her walnut-blond pixie cut glowed as she moved closer to the twinkle lights draping over the shelves. Every hand movement was graceful. Every step seemed sure-footed. She wasn't dancing, but it was as if she was always aware of the music, feeling the nuances within every note. She paused her shelving at a particularly beautiful strings part, and her fingers made a few small movements before curling into a tight fist. What was she thinking? She climbed back down and stood in the center of that open space. The one brighter light wreathed her face and cast her features in shadow. I wished for my camera to capture the moment, but the only cameras I had in Kansas were back at Marshall's.”

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“The entire belief was insulting to many of us, but nonetheless, the term “top trained,” which would come to be regurgitated with great regularity by hospital administration and by Dr. Kowatch, would eventually evolve to become what I would describe as an unhealthy infatuation, one that I now understand represented the developing disconnect between the majority of the Heart Center team and hospital administration, which would ultimately have detrimental effects on the program, which would become visible to all in the near future.”

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