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Quote by Erma Bombeck

“I have just come up with a wonderful solution to end all wars. Let me give directions on how to get there.”

Quote by Erma Bombeck

Author

Erma Bombeck was an American humorist and newspaper columnist renowned for her sharp wit and poignant observations on family life and suburban living. Born on February 21, 1927, she passed away on April 22, 1996. Bombeck's columns were syndicated in over 1,000 newspapers, and her books became bestsellers. more

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“I look forward to death with great anticipation, to meeting God face to face.”

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“The term 'working mother' is redundant.”

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“Most mothers entering the labor market outside the home are naive. They stagger home each evening, holding mail in their teeth, the cleaning over their arm, a lamb chop defrosting under each armpit, balancing two gallons of frozen milk between their knees, and expect one of the kids to get the door.”

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“I didn't fear old age. I was just becoming increasingly aware of the fact that the only people who said old age was beautiful were usually twenty-three years old.”

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Book:Four of a Kind: A Suburban Field Guide

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“There are few things in this world more satisfying than having your son teach you how to play tennis, unless it is having a semi-truck run over your foot.”

World Play Running Teach Feet This World Son Tennis Over You Satisfying Truck Your Son

Book:Forever, Erma: Best-Loved Writing From America's Favorite Humorist

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“There was a time when the respect and trust my children had for me would have made you sick to your stomach. They believed I could blow on a red traffic light and turn it green.”

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Book:Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

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“For some unexplained reason, it's always the other end of the table that's wild and raucous, with screaming laughter and a fella who plays 'Holiday for Strings' on water glasses.”

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Book:I Lost Everything in the Post-Natal Depression

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“Occasionally, once a speaker is on his feet, it is difficult to get him to sit down. ... If and when he returns to earth, he notices half of the room is paging the other half and a few are playing with the melted candles.”

Ifs Earth Difficult Rooms Half Feet Return Candle Speakers Other Half Ifs And

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“I hated skiing or any other sport where there was an ambulance waiting at the bottom of the hill.”

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Book:Four of a Kind: A Suburban Field Guide

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“It is difficult to single out one sport over another, but if I have to name one in my separation suit, it will undoubtedly be football.”

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Book:Just Wait Till You Have Children of Your Own!

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