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Quote by S. J. Perelman

“Santa Barbara people are conservative-not like in L.A., where everybody wears rhinestones on their glasses to show that they own an airplane factory.”

Quote by S. J. Perelman

Author

S. J. Perelman, an American humorist, was born on February 1, 1904, and passed away on October 17, 1979. Known for his unique humor style and sharp wit, he is considered one of the greatest humorists of the 20th century. more

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“A basic ingredient in the manufacture of perfume, the attar-a heavy, pale-yellow oil stored in small metal drums-had been put up as collateral by Bulgaria, in lieu of gold, at the Moscow Narodny Bank, a Communist finance house for East-West trade.”

House Gold Trade West Heavy Oil East Finance Ingredients Communist Yellow Metals Pale Perfume Moscow Collateral Bulgaria Pale Yellow

Author:S. J. Perelman

“If travel has taught me nothing more, and it certainly has, it's this: you never know when some trifling incident, utterly without significance, may pitchfork you into adventure or, by the same token, may not.”

Ifs Knows May Taught Adventure Travel Significance Incidents Tokens Trifling Pitchforks

Author:S. J. Perelman

“I used to pride myself on being impervious to the sentimentalities of soap opera, but when that loveliest of actresses, Rachel Gurney, of Upstairs, Downstairs, perished on the Titanic, I wept so convulsively and developed such anorexia that I had to be force-fed.”

Used Force Television Pride Actresses Feds Opera Soap Anorexia Sentimentality Upstairs Soap Operas Impervious

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“All right, so call me Miss Cliche of 1960, but the thing about the married ones that always spooks me is how sweet and attentive they are at first, when they're on the prowl.”

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“Every generation finds the drug it needs.”

Needs Generations Drug Addiction

Book:Republican Party Reptile: The Confessions, Adventures, Essays and (Other) Outrages of . . .

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“To really enjoy drugs you've got to want to get out of where you are. But there are some wheres that are harder to get out of than others. This is the drug-taking problem for adults. Teenage Weltscbmerz is easy to escape. But what drug will get a grown-up out of, for instance, debt?”

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“The wonder is that communism lasted so long. But then again, modern poetry lasted a long time, too.”

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Book:The CEO of the Sofa

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“Everything that's fun in life is dangerous. Horse races, for instance, are very dangerous. But attempt to design a safe horse and the result is a cow ... It is impossible to be alive and safe.”

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“Rich parents are famous both for miserliness and astonishing longevity. And, when they finally do die, you'll find they've left their estate in inviolate trust to the golden retrievers.”

Dies Left Parent Family Rich Golden Longevity Estates Astonishing Retrievers Golden Retrievers

Book:Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

Source: Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book for Rude People

“A firm, hearty handshake gives a good first impression, and you'll never be forgiven if you don't live up to it.”

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