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Quote by Eugene Mirman

“I remember the first time I had sex. I wore a cape and goggles... because I didn't know.”

Quote by Eugene Mirman

Author

Eugene Mirman is an American comedian known for his unique and witty style of humor. Born on July 24, 1974, he has been active in the comedy scene since the early 2000s. Mirman is recognized for his performances in comedy clubs and television shows, including roles on Comedy Central's 'The Problem with Apu' and 'The Sarah Silverman Program'. His comedy works are celebrated for their satirical take on social phenomena and profound insights into everyday life. more

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“A lot of the things I do are the sort of things I think are funny.”

Author:Eugene Mirman

“I laugh at weird times - at good and bad things alike. I laugh simply when things are incongruous. It's not necessarily a judgment - as it is noticing the oddity of something.”

Laughing Judgment Bad Things Good And Bad Noticing Oddities

Author:Eugene Mirman

“Everyone knows that Jews control the media and banks and stuff. But did you know that when you go to a carnival and you have to be a certain height to go on a ride, Jews control that height? It has nothing to do with safety. It's just us flexing our Semitic muscles.”

Knows Certain Stuff Media Goes On Safety Jew Height Muscles Did You Know Carnivals Flexing

Author:Eugene Mirman

“I just loved comedy as a kid and I think at some point, it just occurred to me that you could try it, and I did.”

Thinking Trying Kids Comedy

Author:Eugene Mirman

“You can do anything you want, as long as it works.”

Want Long Can Do

Author:Eugene Mirman

“A lot of people think that kids say the darnedest things. But so would you if you had no education. You'd just be like, I am bike cheese. Because you wouldn't know what words were.”

People Ifs Thinking Knows Kids Cheese Bike

Author:Eugene Mirman

“Like if you're Jewish you have to wear a hat, but only in the middle of your head. But it all becomes clear the second that you realize that God is a 12-year-old boy with Asperger's.”

Ifs Years Realizing Boys Clear Middle Hats Aspergers

Author:Eugene Mirman

“It's easy to sit on a mountaintop and tell people what to do and how to be happy. I have chosen to do that. Not because it's easy, but for a different reason, which I would reveal, if your mind was ready to handle it, which it isn't, which is also very convenient for me.”

People Ifs Mind Different Reason Easy Ready Handle Chosen Convenient How To Be Happy

Book:The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life

Source: The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life

“There's nothing sexier than a girl who's like, 'I know who FDR is, I know about the New Deal, I'm going to give you a new deal.' And then, over a period of years, she structures her sex acts in such a way that they save the economy.”

Knows Way Giving Years Girl Sex Deals Economy Periods Structure New Deal

Author:Eugene Mirman

“In America, Qualification is simply an attitude. I've adopted it. So, yes. I am qualified.”

America Attitude Adopted Qualified Qualifications

Book:The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life

Source: The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life