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Quote by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

“A relationship is very likely to initially make us pretend we are someone we are not; a friendship, to eventually make us pretend we are still someone we used to be.”

Quote by Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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Mokokoma Mokhonoana

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“Wendell explains that my pain feels like it's in the present, but it's actually in both the past and the future. Therapists talk a lot about how the past informs the present- how our histories affect he ways we think, feel, and behave and how at some point in our lives, we have to let go of the fantasy of creating a better past. If we don't accept the notion that there's no redo, much as we try to get our parents or siblings or partners to fix what happened years ago, our pasts will keep us stuck. Changing our relationship to the past is a staple of therapy. But we talk far less about how our relationship to the future informs the present too. Our notion of the future can be just as powerful a roadblock to change as our notion of the past. In fact, Wendell continues, I've lost more than my relationship in the present. I've lost my relationship in the future. We tend to think that the future happens later, ut we're creating in our minds every day. We the present falls apart, so does the future we had associated with it.”

PainPastRelationshipFuturePresent
Book:Maybe You Should Talk to Someone: A Therapist, Her Therapist, and Our Lives Revealed
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