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Quote by Zach Braff

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Zach Braff
Zach Braff

Zach Braff, born on April 6, 1975, is an American actor. He gained widespread popularity for his role as Joshua Platt in the television series 'Parks and Recreation', and won the Independent Spirit Award for his lead role in the film 'Garden State'. more

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“I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home. It was awkward and I regret it.”

ThinkingHomeWould BeFeltClearStupidRegretMomOne DayBirdSilentMy MomStuckWorriedDriversNutsAwkwardTrafficSunnyI RegretBustedJeepsStuck In TrafficTweety Bird
Author:Zach Braff
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“First I took a crap on the hooker's chest, then I told her I'd pay her a thousand dollars to eat it. She was addicted to crack, so of course she did it. It was so gross, though, it made her throw up, so I said I'd pay her another thousand to lick all that up, too. She started to, but for some reason she started crying as she was doing it, saying, 'I went to college! I have a degree!' Oh man, it was hilarious. I don't know if it was technically sex because I just beat off on her face, but definitely one of my most intense orgasms.”

IfsKnowsMenFirstsMadeSaidReasonFacesCoursesSexPayCryCollegeThousandDegreesBeatsDollarsIntenseCracksChestsCrapGross
Author:Zach Braff
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