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Star Trek Creator: The Authorized Biography of Gene Roddenberry

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David Alexander

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“I had thought that by giving myself so fully to a single fantasy, by indulging in it without restraint or hesitation, I would be cured of all fantasies, able to put them from my mind and go back to living a normal life, or to the image at least of how I imagined a normal life should be. The effect, however, was quite the opposite. Having freed myself from the fear of committing an act I had previously seen as taboo, I had not banished fantasy in general from my mind, but rather had fuelled it. Other, darker fantasies began to haunt me, more daring fantasies, more exciting and lascivious.”

“Tonight, Tam will allow... great and terrible magic to enter his body,' Lucien said, staring at the distant fires. 'The magic will seize control of his mind, his body, his soul, and turn him into the Hunter. It will fill him with his sole purpose; to find the Maiden. From their coupling, magic will be released and spread to the earth, where it will regenerate life for the year to come.' My face became hot, and I fought the urge to fidget. 'Tonight, Tam won't be the faerie you know,' Lucien said. 'He won't even know his name. The magic will consume everything in him but that one basic command- and need.' 'Who... who's the Maiden?' I got out. Lucien snorted. 'No one knows until it's time. After Tam hunts down the white stag and kills it for the sacrificial offering, he'll make his way to that sacred cave, where he'll find the path lined with faerie females waiting to be chosen as his mate for tonight.' 'What?' Lucien laughed. 'Yes- all those female faeries around you were females for Tamlin to pick. It's an honour to be chosen, but it's his instincts that select her.' 'But you were there- and other male faeries.' My face burned so hot that I began sweating. That was why those three horrible faeries had been there- and they'd thought that just by my presence, I was happy to comply with their plans. 'Ah,' Lucien chuckled. 'Well, Tam's not the only one who gets to perform the rite tonight. Once he makes his choice, we're free to mingle. Though it's not the Great Rite, our own dalliances tonight will help the land, too.' He shrugged off that invisible hand a second time, and his eyes fell upon the hills. 'You're lucky I found you when I did, though,' he said. 'Because he would have smelled you, and claimed you, but it wouldn't have been Tamlin who brought you into that cave.' His eyes met mine, and a chill went over me. 'And I don't think you would have liked it. Tonight is not for lovemaking.' I swallowed my nausea. 'I should go,' Lucien said, gazing at the hills. 'I need to return before he arrives at the cave- at least to try to control him when he smells you and can't find you in the crowd.' It made me sick- the thought of Tamlin forcing me, that magic could strip away any sense of self, of right or wrong. But hearing that... that some feral part of him wanted me... My breath was painful. 'Stay in your room tonight, Feyre,' Lucien said. , walking to the garden doors. 'No matter who comes knocking, keep the door locked. Don't come out until morning.”

“But instead, my father sat us down for an explanation of lesbianism.... ...I was mortified, and looked over at my girlfriend to see if this was all registering with her, but she was too busy daydreaming to notice the runaway train that was thundering thought the motel room. She hadn't spoken a single word to any of the adults so far on the trip, and even when she occasionally spoke to me, it was in such a eerily quiet tone that only a nine-year-old- girl or a dog could hear it. I'm pretty sure that Bob and Donna thought she was a deaf-mute, albeit one who could miraculously sense the vacuum seal breaking on a can of Pringles from a mile away. I was eager to let the whole thing go, when my friend asked casually, 'But what's munching the carpet got to do with anything?”

“One evening, as I carefully prepared my dollies for bed with their silky pajamas and pin curls, my mom literally threw a red book at me from across the room with a 'Here. Read this. Let me know if you have any questions.' It took me half a day to get through, and afterward, oh, did I have questions. The book contained the most explicit descriptions of every sexual proclivity in existence - I had a lot of questions: 'Is it the man that pees on the woman or the woman that pees on the man?' 'What if you forget your safe word?' 'Do we have any shlurp bars in Toronto?' 'What's your safe word?' 'What if you go to shrimp someone and they haven't washed their feet?' 'What should my safe word be? Is alphabet soup to obvious?' Soon, not only was I familiar with the basics of male-female sexual intercourse, I could explain in great detail what bukkake was. I could give you a rundown on a Cincinnati Bowtie, or perhaps even take you through the intricacies of a German Scheisse video.”

“The full force of that wild, unrelenting High Lord's power focused solely on me- and I felt the storm contained beneath his skin, so capable of sweeping away everything I was, even in its lessened state. But I could trust him, trust myself to weather that mighty power. I could throw all that I was at him and he wouldn't balk.”