Home / Quotes / Quote by Melissa Febos

Quote by Melissa Febos

“I have replaced my instinct for secrecy with an instinct for confession.”

Author

Melissa Febos is a contemporary writer known for her unique narrative style and profound insights into personal experiences. Her works often explore themes such as gender, identity, and memory. more

“I am secretive. Always have been. And one way that secrecy manifested in my early life was that I was adept at juggling multiple social realities: I could get by no problem in many social arenas (including that of high school), but also felt alienated and totally uninspired by everything that happened there.”

Way Has Beens Problem Reality School Social Felt Happened High School Including One Way Multiple No Problem Arena Secrecy Secretive Juggling Adept Early Life Uninspired

Author:Melissa Febos

“When you conceal inner reality, this pressure builds. You often don't expose yourself until it reaches extremity, a breaking point, and what emerges is a dramatic shift - at least in the eyes of others, from whom you've hidden the truth. So, dropping out of high school was like that for me. I was fine, I got straight As, I had friends, and then boom, I was like, I'm done.”

Done Reality Eye School Fine High School Pressure Dramatic Dropping Extremity Point Break Dropping Out

Author:Melissa Febos

“Torch songs are confessions. They are an expression of feeling that cannot be concealed or contained or minimized. They are marked by anguish, yes, but also by yielding.”

Feelings Song Expression Confession Anguish Concealed Torches Expression Of Feeling

Author:Melissa Febos

“I always wished I could go to confession. I was so full of things I couldn't name and had an instinct to hide. I felt burdened by the loneliness of my interior life. I wanted some container that I could empty myself into, some ear that would never be shocked, even if it offered me some kind of penance.”

Ifs Kind Wanted Names Felt Loneliness Empty Ears Instinct Confession Shocked Interiors Containers Penance

Author:Melissa Febos

“I could not kick heroin to save my life, literally, until I started telling my secrets. It was some of the clearest evidence I've ever found of anything. It was the only immediate change in behavior I've ever undergone. I told the most frightening truths, and I was free.”

Found Secret Behavior Evidence Kicks Frightening Heroin

Author:Melissa Febos

“The craft work becomes a mediator between me and my secrets, between me and the listener.”

Secret Crafts Listeners Mediators

Author:Melissa Febos

“Abandonment by a lover won't kill us. But it awakens the parts of us that remember when it could.”

Remember Lovers Remember When Abandonment

Author:Melissa Febos

“Desperation precludes reflection. That is one of the reasons why smart people can get involved in very obviously unworkable relationships. Like addiction, that deep, Imago attachment is more powerful than logic, and in fact disables logic. So, any explanation or analysis or reflection on such a feeling is already many steps removed from the experience.”

People Reason Facts Feelings Powerful Steps Involved Smart Reflection Logic Addiction Reason Why Analysis Explanation Attachment Desperation Get Involved Smart People

Author:Melissa Febos

“Music isn't seeking to comment on the experience or transmit some finding about it - it is only seeking to express it. The vicarious experience is much more accessible. We all recognize the sound of that howling, because we all have a similar howling inside of us, however we heed it or hold it or muzzle it or repress it or live in bondage to it.”

Sound Findings Music Is Seeking Comment Bondage Heed Transmit Vicarious Muzzle

Author:Melissa Febos

“I think trauma gets a reductive treatment. We tend to think only violence or molestation or total abandonment qualify as "childhood trauma," but there are so many ruptures and disturbances in childhood that imprint themselves on us. Attachment begets trauma, in that broader sense, and so if we've ever been dependent on anyone, I think there is an Imago blueprint in us somewhere.”

Ifs Thinking Violence Childhood Trauma Dependent Treatment Attachment Abandonment Begets Disturbance Blueprints Childhood Trauma Rupture Molestation

Author:Melissa Febos

Quote by Melissa Febos

Author

You May Also Like