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Path to Choquequirao: A Short Story Collection

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Ryan Gelpke

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“I'm sorry, for... not... protecting you.' His face blurred as I stared at him. 'The blood wasn't pouring from the wound as freely now. 'You have protected me. You still will.' 'I... didn't.' His gaze trekked over my shoulder to where Lord Mazeen stood. 'I... failed you... as a man. Forgive me.' 'There's nothing to forgive you for,' I cried. 'You've done nothing wrong.' His dulling eyes fixed on me. 'Please.' 'I forgive you.' I rocked forward, dropping my forehead to his. 'I forgive you. I do. I forgive you.' Vikter shuddered. 'Please don't,' I whispered. 'Please don't leave me. lease. I can't. I can't do this without you. Please.' His hand slipped from mine. I drew in air, but it went nowhere as I lifted my head, looking down at him. I frantically searched his face. His eyes were open, his lips parted, but he didn't see me. He didn't see anything anymore. 'Vikter?' I pressed down on his chest, feeling for his heart, for just a beat. That's all I wanted to feel. Just a heartbeat. Please. 'Vikter?' My name was whispered softly. It was Hawke. He placed his hand over mine. I looked at him and shook my head. 'No.' 'I'm sorry,' he said, gently lifting my hand. 'I'm so sorry.' 'No,' I repeated, my breath now coming in short, rapid pants. 'No.”

DeathDyingJennifer L ArmentroutHeartbreakingPoppyPoppy BalfourFrom Blood And AshHawkeHawke FlynnVikter
Book:From Blood and Ash
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“These feelings don't just go away. They linger. Hover. They are with me always. Even at my most functioning...they are there, watching me. These emotions are my roommates now, bunking up beside me at night. They do not pay any rent...they are determined to ruin me, and yet I can never fully evict them from my brain. I have tried -- really tried -- to chip away at my grief...But lately, I've just given up. I'm finally giving it permission to breathe and exist... Most days now, they lie dormant in me. Sometimes it gets so quiet in my brain I think they've finally packed up and left. But every year as the calendar rounds the corner to March and the anniversary of her death approaches, anger bubbles again...I rage over the smallest of things, screaming behind the steering wheel of my car when another driver forgets to use their blinker. At first I'm perplexed, and then I remember: it's here again. And I am still mad. So mad. I can starve it, avoid it, rationalize it, manage it, talk about it in therapy, and eat it up in neat little points value. No matter how much weight I lose, I will never lose this one simple truth: I want my mom. I am so f***ing mad that she's gone. And that feeling will never, ever die.”

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Book:The Dead Moms Club: A Memoir about Death, Grief, and Surviving the Mother of All Losses
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“Death, the impartial force, teaches us that survival is a lottery we've won every day we wake up. With each loss, we are reminded that survival is the unexpected twist in the story of life. We all die in the end, as our characters dissolve into the shared narrative of humanity. In the quest for ultimate agency, we are confronted with the ultimate impossibility – to dictate the terms of our own end. The clock of existence ticks on relentlessly, while our desire to pause it at will remains a futile endeavor. Appreciate every moment...”

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Author:Carson Anekeya
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