“Halloween is just a made up holiday, created by the razor blade industry.”
Quote by Anthony Jeselnik
Author
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“Father's Day makes me wish I could talk to my Dad just one more time, instead of all the time.”
“My dad was amazing. He raised five boys. All by himself. Without the rest of us knowing.”
“I would love to DJ the royal wedding. Just so I could play Candle in the Wind non-stop.”
“I feel like every first episode of a TV show is bad, you know, and it always improves.”
“My favorite part of going to a wedding is ruining the wedding.”
“Watching soccer just makes me wish I was watching Foosball.”
“I'm very arrogant and mean. I'm almost like a bad guy professional wrestler.”
