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Notes on Your Sudden Disappearance

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Alison Espach

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“Nesta took a breath. And when I beheld my sister, with her somehow magnified beauty, her ears... When Nesta looked at me... Rage. Power. Cunning. Then it was gone, horror and shock crumpling her face, but she didn't pause, didn't halt. She was free- she was loose. She was on her feet, tripping over her slightly longer, leaner limbs, ripping the gag from her mouth- Nesta slammed into Lucien, grabbing Elain from his arms, and screamed at him as he fell back, 'Get off her!' Elain's feet slipped against the floor, but Nesta gripped her upright, running her hands over Elain's face, her shoulders, her hair- 'Elain, Elain, Elain,' she sobbed. Cassian again stirred- trying to rise, to answer Nesta's voice as she held my sister and cried her name again and again.”

“With the last of my magic, I pledge to help Pinocchio become a real boy." She extended her hand to Chiara. "You remember what happened when our magics came together and struck your dove?" As if on cue, Chiara's white dove flew past them and landed on Ilaria's arm. "She came to life," Chia murmured. "Thanks to the two of us." "It takes two to make miracles happen," said Ily. "Will you do the honors?" Taking in a deep breath, Chiara nodded, and together, hand in hand, the sisters approached the lifeless Pinocchio. Prove yourself brave, truthful, and unselfish, and someday you will be a real boy. She touched her wand to Pinocchio's head. "Awake, Pinocchio. Awake." Magic brimmed across the young boy's still body, bringing him to life. His cheeks turned rosy, and his wooden nose became one made of flesh, the nails in his knees and elbows turning into joints and bone and muscle. Gone were his donkey ears and tail. "Papa!" he spoke. "Papa, I'm alive!" Geppetto rose from the sand, unable to believe his ears. But when he saw his dearest Pinocchio a real boy, his tears of sorrow turned to joy. He scooped his boy into his arms. "My son," he whispered. "You've come home." Chiara watched them, her heart full of relief and gladness. This was what made her love being a fairy--- the tender moments of joy, the proof that hope was never in vain.”

“Nesta's throat constricted, and she surveyed the swaying cherry blossoms overhead. Elain would love this place. So many flowers, all in bloom, so much green- the light, vibrant green of new grass- so many birds singing and such warm, buttery sunshine. Nesta felt like a storm cloud standing amid it all. But Elain... The Spring Court had been made for someone like her. Too bad her sister refused to see her. Nesta would have told Elain to visit this place. And too bad the lord who ruled these lands was a piece of shit.”

“I wrote this story because I needed to, when, so many years after losing my sister, I found myself daily, hourly sometimes, being touched by life in some way that brought up her "missing-ness." Like an invisible shard in my heart, it doesn't show when you look at me, but there it sits, in the center of my chest, a shard now turned to crystal that casts its light and color over my life. Inside that crystal, Kathy is still with me. I know I am not alone in this experience.”