“I know that interrogating an active compulsive gambler does not reveal the truth but invites more lies. I learned that a simple statement like "I know you are having a problem with gambling but I cannot help you with it" would be appropriate. By saying this I am refusing to take part in the game playing.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“Gamblers get "caught" gambling in one of several ways. One way is to be discovered someplace where the gamblers promised never to go after the last time they were caught. Another is when money is missing and there is no lie big enough to explain how and why this much money is gone.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“The gamblers claim that lessons have been learned. The non-gamblers believe that “love conquers all.” The gamblers may even believe it at that moment. Promises are made never to gamble again, to be a better person, to work harder, to pay back the debt, and the non-gamblers do what has been asked of them.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“Loved ones want to trust the gamblers, because they believe that trust and love are inseparable.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“It may seem that the gamblers are keeping all the promises made, but rarely does this last long. After a while the gamblers are back, confessing a lack of self-control, asking for money, and making the same promises again.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“The belief that blind trust is necessary in a successful relationship is false and is a distraction to the real issues of recovery. Recovery is less about trusting the gambler and more about trusting ourselves. We have already experienced the dangers of trusting someone who has not earned our trust. Trust is something that will come over time during the recovery process. How much trust to give the gamblers, and when, is a personal decision.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“I do love my husband, but I will not endanger my financial security or personal serenity to prove it.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“After I found out about my husband's gambling and debt, I cried and he promised he would never do it again. But…it was only a matter of time until there was another debt…and another promise.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“I literally gave her a choice, "Me or gambling" and she said, "You, of course," and then proceeded to lie and gamble.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition
“In order to gamble, the gamblers need time. Family time interferes with gambling time. Dating interferes with gambling time. Work interferes with gambling time. School interferes with gambling time. If the gamblers need to feel justification in order to gamble without guilt, they pick a fight. If guilt is not an issue for the gamblers, the fight is a power play. Either way one thing is certain: the gamblers will get to gamble.”
Source: GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition