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Quote by butterflies rising

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wild spirit, soft heart

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butterflies rising

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“I expect Caz to move away, but instead he slides his long fingers around my wrist. Runs a thumb over the frayed string bracelet there. 'You always wear this,' he says. I nod. Swallow. 'Yeah. I know.' He waits for me to say more, but I’m too busy trying to act normal, like I’m not hyperaware of how close we are, how his hand is still moving slowly over my skin, his touch warmer and lighter than the summer air.”

“am i safe here, am i seen here, can i breathe here, do i bloom here, can i grow here, can i glow here, do i feel free here, does my pulse stir and my heart beat here, can i trust this, is there truth here, is it beautiful here… do i feel beautiful here, and not just do i feel loved here… but do i get to love me here. out of all the questions i have with someone… i think the ones that ask, “what does it feel like here?” are my most important ones.”

“our in-between spaces can make us feel like giving up… when we are waiting on a dream, we ache. when we are fighting to heal, we hurt. when we don’t have answers, we feel lost. but if we give up… we still ache, and we still hurt, and we still feel lost. at least if we don’t give up… we do all those things with hope. and so i think you just have keep going… until your intangible aches are in the flesh, and the healing has settled in, and the answers are being touched by light… i think you have to keep going.”

“It was ironic, really - you want to die because you can't be bothered to go on living - but then you're expected to get all energetic and move furniture and stand on chairs and hoist ropes and do complicated knots and attach things to other things and kick stools from under you and mess around with hot baths and razor blades and extension cords and electrical appliances and weedkiller. Suicide was a complicated, demanding business, often involving visits to hardware shops. And if you've managed to drag yourself from the bed and go down the road to the garden center or the drug store, by then the worst is over. At that point you might as well just go to work.”