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Quote by Lemony Snicket

“Is the elevator out of order?" Violet asked. "I'm very good with mechanical devices, and I'd be happy to take a look at it." "That's a very kind and unusual offer," the doorman said.”

Quote by Lemony Snicket

Book:The Ersatz Elevator
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The Ersatz Elevator

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Lemony Snicket

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“It may surprise you to learn that at this moment, Sunny resembled the famous Greek conqueror Alexander the Great. Alexander the Great lived more than two thousand years ago, and his last name was not actually "The Great." "The Great" was something that he forced people to call him, by bringing a bunch of soldiers into their land and proclaiming himself king. Besides invading other people's countries and forcing them to do whatever he said, Alexander the Great was famous for something called the Gordian Knot. The Gordian Knot was a fancy knot tied in a piece of rope by a king named Gordius. Gordius said that if Alexander could untie it, he could rule the whole kingdom. But Alexander who was too busy conquering places to learn how to untie knots, simply drew his sword and cut the Gordian Knot in two. This was cheating, of course, but Alexander had too many soldiers for Gordius to argue, and soon everybody in Gordium had to bow down to You-Know-Who the Great. Ever since then, a difficult problem can be called a Gordian Knot, and if you solve the problem in a simple way - even if the way is rude - you are cutting the Gordian Knot.”

Lemony SnicketA Series Of Unfortunate Events
Book:The Wide Window
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“Skin boils! Boils cause serious pain and physical suffering, and you also have to consider the ugliness factor. Even the most powerful zit cream on earth would be no match for the Lord Almighty’s epidermal masterpieces. So this one wins for my pick of the nastiest of the first nine plagues -- a dubious honor indeed.”

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Book:The Bible: Enter Here: Bringing God's Word to Life for Today's Teens
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