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Autobiography of an Androgyne

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Jennie June

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“And what’s a healer’s touch like?” she asked, working quickly to push the needle through and tie off another knot, closing his wound with each stitch. “Light as a feather. Like this.” He moved his hand from her arm to her breast. His fingertips brushed the bared skin above her bodice in teasing strokes. She held herself still, beguiled by the sensation. She’d never have guessed her body would react so to a man. She should be afraid, she knew, but her only fear was that he’d stop. His touch moved down, between the stiff boning of her bodice and the soft, thin chemise, circling her nipple slowly through the cloth of her undergarment. Oh, how he made her ache. He tormented that needy skin with his nearness. She fought the urge to squirm into his touch. When he finally flicked a nail over it, a jolt of wickedness shot from her breast to her womb.”

“This will hurt ye more than it does me,” she said as she pulled the thread through his skin. “Nay, lass, you’re but tickling me,” he said, his eyes never leaving hers. His thumb rubbed back and forth over her forearm. “What are ye doing?” she demanded. “Hmm?” He blinked, all innocence. She looked pointedly down at his hand. His thumb stopped. “I was just distracting myself a bit from the pain,” he said. “Ye’re fair soft.” “Ye’re accustomed to scratchy wool. That’s just the silk ye feel.” “No, I can imagine ye beneath your clothes,” he said. “I’m thinking your skin puts silk to shame.”

“If your heart’s no’ engaged in your marriage, then ye shouldna be averse to a wee bit of lust outside of it,” he said, advancing around to her. She made him feel pleasurably male again. He decided to listen to his groin and not stifle the urge. Lust wasn’t the same as love. Surely it wouldn’t be a betrayal of Fiona if he used his body to wreak vengeance on his enemy. Especially not if he convinced Lachlan’s bride to succumb willingly. “Ye interrupted the ceremony before the vows were complete. I’m no’ even officially a wife, I dinna suppose,” she said, still circling the spring to keep her distance from him. Her nipples stood out beneath her bodice, whether from cold or the memory of his touch, he didn’t much care. They were a fine sight in any case. He ached to suckle them.”

“She smelled faintly of heather and evergreen boughs. Scent was an extravagance. He wondered where she dabbed the fragrant oil. The thin skin of her wrists? The pulse point at her white throat? Or maybe in the sweet hollow between her breasts? Thinking about all of those soft, forbidden places made him feel rampantly, throbbingly male. He wanted to search out those tender spots, bury his nose in them, and lave them with his tongue.”

“As I recall,” he said as his fingertip skimmed the tops of her breasts, “I enjoy the sounds a woman makes when I pleasure her.” “Ye’d not enjoy these sounds.” She slapped his hand away. “And if ye take me, there’d be no pleasure.” “As a maid, ye canna know that,” he said, lifting one of the long locks of her chestnut hair to his lips and inhaling her scent. “And I dinna think ye’ll scream, not in the way ye mean, in any case.” “Ye’d have to tie me up and force yourself on me, because I’d fight ye, tooth and claw,” she said with assurance. “Now there’s a thought,” he said. “I’ve heard some lassies enjoy being tied up.” He could picture her in his mind, bound tight, her breasts bared, her legs splayed with her soft core wet and ready. She’d be helpless before him. He’d make her beg for release. He stood and walked to his horse to retrieve a length of rope. “Shall we give it a try?” “No!” she said, scrabbling away. “Please, no.” “Dinna fret, Elspeth. I’ll no’ force ye,” he crooned softly, as if she were a frightened mare.”

“He turned around to look at the house. Elspeth was behind one of the vellum-covered windows. Did she wonder where he was? If it had been high summer and the windows left uncovered to let in a breeze, would she have peeked out at him as he stood on the shoal, naked as God made him? He soaped up his groin. Just the thought that Elspeth might spy on him at his bath made part of him happier than it ought to be, considering the temperature.”

“Lust was no surprise. Present a man who'd not known a woman in a while with the sight of a naked one, and there was no power on earth that could restrain his cock from rising. But the tenderness in his chest nearly knocked him down. He longed to hold her, to whisper endearments, to kiss away her fears and offer her the protection of his body as well as its need. "Elspeth," he said reverently, as if her name were a prayer. That broke the spell. She covered herself, one arm across her breasts, the other hand protectively splayed between her legs. He continued to look at her, drinking in her exposed skin, all rosy and fresh. It would be like silk under his touch. His hands would know every inch of her. She snatched up the remains of the velvet skirt and held it before her, but her neat calves and ankles were still bare to his gaze. "How long have you been there?" she demanded. "Long enough.”

“I promise ye, lass, I'll keep ye safe. No one will harm ye." He grasped at anything he could think of to dry up her tears. "I offer ye the protection of my body and my sword arm for as long as we bide together. And any time ye might have need of them after." Her whole frame shuddered with a silent sob. "Please, lass." He stroked her from the crown of her head to the base of her spine. She shivered under his touch, so he didn't do it again. "Elspeth, sweetheart, ye dinna have to cry so.”