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An Obsession With Justice

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Dave Angel

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“ein film wie rainman heitert die gemuter auf er sagt aber nichts von dem totalen chaos reichlicher angst und die unsagbare traurigkeit und einsamkeit in uns dieser film zeigt eine fassade zum zwecke der unterhaltung ich will einem film mit jamlia machen der in die tiefen der autistenwelt inansteigt er soll aufdecken und gute analytische innere dinge im gedanken und gefuhlsleven arbeit leisten ich freue mich aus die arbeit an dem film”

“We need to find you an outlet that’s going to be healthy and sustainable.” ​I consider these words for a moment. “Like what?” I finally ask, coming up with nothing. ​“Well, you could write,” the bigfoot therapist suggests. “Something creative is a great way to let that illogical side of you come out and play.” ​“Knowing my hyperfocus I’d probably just end up writing hundreds of books expressing every corner of my personality in a deeply intricate catalog of feelings,” I offer with a scoff. ​My therapist doesn’t seem phased.”

“Mr.Spiner I have many patients with autism and Asperger’s syndrome. They often have extreme difficulties with basic social interaction. For many of them, you or rather Data is their icon. Their hero.” I am momentarily speechless, taking this in. “I’m not sure I understand.” “You see Mr. Spiner- the inner world of a person of a person with autism or Asperger’s syndrome is very much like the feeling of being an emotionless android in a society of emotional humans.”

“It was as though I had even to trick my own mind by chattering in such a casual and blase manner; any other way stopped at the point of motivation. It was as though I were emotionally constipated and the words could not otherwise escape my lips. If it were not for the methods I had devised, my words, like my screams and so many of my sobs, would have remained silent. People would push me to get to the point. When what I had to say was negative, this was quite simple. Opinions that had nothing to do with my own identity or needs rolled off my tongue like wisecracks from a stand-up comedian. ....Hiding behind the characters of Carol and Willie, I could say what I thought, but the problem was that I could not say what I felt. One solution was to become cold and clinical about topics I might feel something about. Everyone does this to an extent, in order to cover up what they feel, but I had actually to convince myself about things; it made me a shell of a person.”

“Know your own child’s behaviors and look deeper to find their meaning. Be the expert for your child. Discover the wonderful.”