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GAMES COMPULSIVE GAMBLERS and WE PLAY Second Edition

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GAM-ANON INTERNATIONAL SERVICE OFFICE

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“Sunday was my husband's day to do what he wanted, when he wanted to do it. All he wanted to do was watch sports while changing channels constantly, listen to the radio and make phone calls. When I asked him to go with the children and me to the park or to someone's house, he yelled that he works hard all week and I am begrudging him his only hobby. He never gave that up to spend the day with us.”

“The gamblers always seem to be submerged in one serious financial or emotional crisis after another. Sometimes the crisis endangers the family's lifestyle or assets and sometimes it affects only the gamblers' quality of life. Regardless, the non-gamblers often make the unhealthy choice of not allowing the gamblers to experience their own crises and instead proceed to find ways to fix the situation. The behaviors shown by the non-gamblers may include:   Co-signing notes; Lying to creditors and employers; Asking family members for money; Making restitution for bad checks written by the gambler; Making excuses for the gambler; Paying the gamblers' debts; Compromising their own credit; Doing whatever is necessary to keep the gamblers out of jail; Making life more manageable for the gamblers.”

“I was standing in the way of my gambler's recovery by treating his symptoms with bailouts and sympathy, taking on his responsibilities and softening his consequences. He couldn't feel how bad his illness was because I was helping him numb the pain it caused him.”

“My husband lied to me about why we needed money and in turn I lied to my father about why we needed money. My father took out a bank loan to give us the money and gave the payment book to my husband. When my husband missed a payment, I lied to my father, telling him that I forgot to pay it.”

“The non-gamblers come to believe that the gamblers are not capable of better social conversation, better social interaction, or involvement in worthy pursuits. They may attribute this to reasons that have nothing to do with gambling, such as exhaustion from work, bad childhood experiences, lack of confidence, etc. The unacceptable behavior becomes the norm in this environment, and the non-gamblers settle into believing the gamblers are ‘incapable’ rather than ‘ill.”