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Just Went Out for Milk

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Tommy Cotton

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“Ten ma (bsTan Ma [བསྟན་མ་]). Twelve local female spirits of Tibet who have taken the vow from Guru Padmasambhava to protect the Dharma and its followers: the Four Ten mas of the Dud mo [bDud Mo] type: 1) Tshe ring ma (Tshe Ring Ma [ཚེ་རིང་མ་] or Kun Grags Ma [ཀུན་གྲགས་མ་]), 2) Dor je Ya ma kyong (rDo rje gYa Ma sKyong [རྡོ་རྗེ་གཡ་མ་སྐྱོང་]), 3) Kun zang mo (Kun bZang Mo [ཀུན་བཟང་མོ་] and 4) Geg gyi tso (bGegs Kyi gTso [བགེགས་ཀྱི་གཙོ་]; The Four Ten mas of the Nod jin mo (S. Yakṣasi, T. gNod sByin Mo [གནོད་སྦྱིན་མོ་]) type: 1) Chen chig ma (sPyan gChig Ma [སྤྱན་གཅིག་མ་]), 2) Kha ding Lu mo gyal (mKha' lDing Klu Mo rGyal [མཁའ་ལྡིང་ཀླུ་མོ་རྒྱལ་]), 3) Dor je Khyung tsun ma (rDo rje Khyung bTsun Ma [རྡོ་རྗེ་ཁྱུང་བཙུན་མ་]), and 4) Trag mo gyal (Drag Mo rGyal [དྲག་མོ་རྒྱལ་]); The Four Men Mo (sMan Mo [སྨེན་མོ་]): 1) Pod kham kyong (Bod Khams sKyong [བོད་ཁམས་སྐྱོང་]), 2) Men chig ma (sMan gChig Ma [སྨན་གཅིག་མ་]), 3) Yar mo sil (gYar Mo bSil [གཡར་མོ་བསིལ་]), and 4) Dor je Zu le men (rDo rje Zu Le sMan [རྡོ་རྗེ་གཟུགས་ལེགས་སྨན་]).”

“It's good to be aware of all the (buddha) family patterns and to remember that our energy is just energy, and that every form of energy has the potential to be transformed into wisdom. One of the most wonderful things about Vajrayana is that the stronger our afflictions are, the stronger the encumbered patterns, the stronger the wisdom will be. So it's actually considered to be really good for a Vajrayana practitioner to be very passionate or very angry or very lazy, or whatever the dominant obstructing emotion might be, because an equal intensity of that energy will be transformed into wisdom.”

“I am sorry—I know that what you shared was not like other gods and humans.’ ‘It was not. But how would you know that it was not, with everything that you have seen? I want to tell you how it is different, so that you understand.’ Caught up in the joy, my fears and my doubts were a current tugging at me from underneath, but I pushed them down. For now at least, I would not think of them. I would let him talk and hope, this time, that his words would convince me.”

“All these years I thought I had been protecting a space alien from the government." She laughed and it was dry and filled with sadness. "And now I find out that I've been protecting something evil." Catty started shaking. "What did you read?" Kendra looked down at the manuscript. Her finger ran across a line as she translated it. "The child of a fallen goddess and an evil spirit will take possession of the Secret Scroll without fear of its curse." "You think that's me?" Catty asked nervously. Could she be the daughter of a fallen goddess and an evil spirit?”

“I do all I can to let my students feel as normal as possible, as far from institutionalized. I see how easy it is to allow this conveyor belt of incarceration bring them from my facility to an adult detention, often for the rest of their lives.”

“I looked at her face. Besides being covered in tears, it was above all marked by dissatisfaction. Deep-lying dissatisfaction, the kind a person is born with. Nothing helps to drive out that dissatisfaction. Expensive espresso machines, attention, a new wing on the house— for a fleeting moment the dissatisfaction disappears into the background, but it's like a leak coming through the wallpaper: You can cover it with new wallpaper, but after a while the brown spots soak through, anyway. There's not much you can do about it. You can muffle it for a bit with medication, with what they call “mother’s little helpers,” but in the end it only comes back with renewed strength.”