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“Alaric’s large fingers clamped around her wrist, dragging her back down. “No one else can see.” She hesitated, unconvinced and worried sick. He added, his tone uneven and his grip on her tightening, “Don’t, Talasyn.” His thumb brushed across the inside of her wrist in fretful strokes, and her free hand moved as though of its own accord, wrapping around his, squeezing in reassurance as she asked, "Do you have any bandages, then? I can-" "Leave it," Alaric told her through clenched teeth. "I'll take care of myself." “You’re in no condition—” “I can manage—” "No, you can’t!” He gave a start at her raised tone, his powerful body twitching as though it longed to curl in on itself in a protective ball. Thoroughly chastened, she cradled his cheek, the walls that she had so carefully built around herself in his presence crashing down. “Alaric,” she pleaded, “let me help you.” “You shouldn’t even be here.” Despite his rough, strained words, he leaned into her touch with a quiet desperation that made up her mind for her. “I am, anyway,” she retorted. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”

Quote by Thea Guanzon

Book:A Monsoon Rising
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A Monsoon Rising

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Thea Guanzon

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“Alaric grabbed her elbow, despair surging from him in waves, and pulled her to him. She let out an indignant squeak as she found herself sprawled on top of his bare chest, her nose inches from his. She held still, careful not to disturb the bandages, and his hand darted from her elbow to her lower back, exposed by the cut of her blue dress, his warm fingers trailing static charges along the base of her spine. She hadn’t realized that she was so sensitive there. “Don’t go,” he murmured hoarsely, fitfully, a man caught in a fever-dream. “I won’t bring up the rebels again. I won’t breathe another word. Just—don’t leave me, Tala.” The name he had first called her on their wedding night sent a mess of starlit recollections swirling through her at the same time that it caught in his throat, along with what he said next. “Please.” Talasyn stared into the hollow desolation in Alaric’s gray eyes, the utter defeat. She knew this loneliness. She understood it in the marrow of her bones. “I was going to clean up, that’s all,” she whispered. “I’m not leaving. It’s just—the bucket and—” “Forget the bucket,” he told her, a hint of his usual imperiousness breaking through the valerian fog. “Stay here.” “All right.” Not her wittiest moment, but it was difficult to think when she was pressed up against his solid body, his hand on the small of her back. “I’ll stay.” He looked like he didn’t believe her, and it pierced her heart.”

SadHeartacheAlaricTalasyn
Book:A Monsoon Rising
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“Talasyn suddenly wanted nothing more than to assure Alaric of her presence. She sank fully against his form, holding him down with her weight, burying her face in the side of his neck in a chaste imitation of what he had done to her once, in another bed. “I’m here,” she vowed into his smooth, overheated skin. “I’m not going anywhere.” A sound between a groan and a hitch of breath caught in his throat. The hand on the small of her back rubbed compulsively, tracing the notches of her spine, and his arm tightened around her. His other hand tangled in her hair. “I couldn’t kill that rebel.” It was a choked, bewildered rumble in her ear. “One word from you and I let my guard down. I couldn’t kill you, either, all those times before … What am I, if I’m not a weapon? What have you done to me?”

HeartacheSupportiveAlaricTalasyn
Book:A Monsoon Rising
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“You’re not just a weapon,” she mumbled into his neck. “You have a sweet tooth and sometimes you make me laugh. I tell you things that I’ve never told anyone else.” The very air seemed to spin golden with each surge of memory, aether humming between their forms. “You helped me with my magic. You tackled me out of the way of that void bolt. Today you made sure I could run and fight. All of these things—they’re not what a weapon is, or does. You’re so much more than a weapon. You could be more.” She meant every word.”

HeartacheAlaricTalasyn
Book:A Monsoon Rising
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“Did—were you—” Alaric faltered, each word laboriously plucked out from his stupor. “Did you think that I … would strike you?” Talasyn remained silent a beat too long. Long enough for him to confirm that her answer, though unspoken, was yes. “I wouldn’t—” He hit the floor on his knees and shuffled toward her. She straightened up with the intention of nudging him to do so as well, but he flung his arms around her waist. “Tala, I would never”—he buried his face in her midsection—“never when we’re not sparring,” he said fiercely. “Never when I’m drunk, never in our room—” “I know.” She carded her fingers through his soft hair, in a tentative attempt to soothe him.”

HeartacheAlaricTalasynTalaDrunk Alaric
Book:A Monsoon Rising
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“Gestern, inmitten des zarten Übergangs vom Morgengrauen zur Abenddämmerung, fühlte ich mich verloren zwischen der greifbaren Umarmung der Realität und dem vergänglichen Reich der Träume und Illusionen. Die Freude an der Erinnerung, einst ein geschätzter Trost, entzog sich nun meinem Zugriff, denn es gab keinen Begleiter, mit dem ich diese wertvollen Erinnerungen teilen konnte. Es war, als hätte die Abwesenheit meiner Geliebten diesen gemeinsamen Erlebnissen die Essenz entzogen und sie hohl und distanziert gemacht. Der Verlust eines unverzichtbaren Menschen fügt dem Herzen eine tiefe Wunde zu, die nie vollständig heilt. Sie bleiben für immer in den zerbrochenen Kammern unserer Seele präsent, ihre Essenz ist für immer mit unserer eigenen verbunden. Die einfachen Nuancen unseres gemeinsamen Daseins, einst Quellen der Wärme und des Trostes, dienen heute als eindringliche Echos, die vor Schmerz nachhallen. In der riesigen Fläche, in der sich einst deine Präsenz befand, existiert jetzt eine Leere – eine Leere, die genau nach diesem Bild geformt ist und von keinem anderen gefüllt wird. Ich navigiere ständig durch die Konturen dieser Leere, durchquere tagsüber ihre Tiefen und erliege nachts ihrer allumfassenden Dunkelheit. Es ist eine Kluft, die kunstvoll in die Silhouette deiner Abwesenheit eingraviert ist, eine Leere, die sich allen Versuchen der Schließung widersetzt, denn niemand sonst kann jemals den Raum einnehmen, den du einst in meinem Herzen gehalten hast.”

PainLossGriefLonelinessLongingMemoryAbsenceHeartache
Author:Rolf van der Wind
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