Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Nicole Chung

Quote by Nicole Chung

“How do you learn to cherish yourself, your life, when grief has made it unrecognizable? I am starting to feel that we do so not by trying to fill a void that can never be filled but by living as best as we can in this strange, yawning terrain our loved ones have left behind, exploring its jagged boundaries and learning to see it as something new.”

Quote by Nicole Chung

Book:A Living Remedy: A Memoir – A Daughter's Narrative of Adoption, Class Inequality, and Grief in America
Create image

Work

A Living Remedy: A Memoir – A Daughter's Narrative of Adoption, Class Inequality, and Grief in America

Browse quotes and source details for this work. more

Author

Nicole Chung

Browse famous quotes and profile details for Nicole Chung. more

You May Also Like

“The emotions of grief are ageless. Widows often feel they have lost their purpose in life. The worst part of a widow’s day is when her comforters leave. Every part of her daily routine has a kink in it, especially when it’s time to go to sleep. Going to bed without hearing someone say, goodnight, feels like leaving the period off the end of a sentence. Michael Ben Zehabe, Ruth: a woman’s guide to husband material, pg 18”

GriefComfortersWidow S Day
Book:Ruth: A Woman's Guide to Husband Material
Create image

“In Tenebris I Wintertime nighs; But my bereavement-pain It cannot bring again: Twice no one dies. Flower-petals flee; But, since it once hath been, No more that severing scene Can harrow me. Birds faint in dread: I shall not lose old strength In the lone frost's black length: Strength long since fled! Leaves freeze to dun; But friends can not turn cold This season as of old For him with none. Tempests may scath; But love can not make smart Again this year his heart Who no heart hath. Black is night's cope; But death will not appal One who, past doubtings all, Waits in unhope.”

DeathPoetryHopeLossGriefSorrowWinter
Book:Poems of the Past and the Present
Create image

“Rumination in grief is a form of avoidance. We know - this is completely counterintuitive. As we talked about [previously], avoidance is when you work hard not to think about something. How could rumination possibly be a form of avoidance? Margaret Stroebe, Henk Schut, Maarten Eisma, and an array of their colleagues first suggested this 'rumination as avoidance' hypothesis and then did research to investigate it. There is a lot to say on this topic, but here's what you need to know: studies have found that grieving people will often ruminate on very specific aspects of their loss. This keeps their brains so busy with those very focused events or details that they don't have to face the even more difficult and painful aspects of their grief.”

LossGriefTraumaPtsdBereavementAvoidanceRumination
Book:What's Your Grief?: Lists to Help You Through Any Loss
Create image

“After a significant loss, it's tempting to live life in the past - wishing it had been different, screaming that it was unfair; deconstructing every decision to figure out where things went wrong or what you could have done differently, imagining what life would be like now had the past turned out the way you wish it had. But as the existential psychologist Irving Yalom said, sooner or later we all have to 'give up the hope for a better past.' You cannot change the facts of your history; you cannot change your loss. But you can integrate that loss into who you are now and decide what that will mean for you as you move forward. It is easy to conceptualize life as a series of events that happen to you, and your story as a reporting of those events. But it is not that simple. It is not just what has happened to you that shapes you. The way that you make sense of what happened to you also shapes you. There is the story you have lived up until this moment and then there is the story you are still living, telling, and creating. You are not just the storyteller; you are the story writer. How you understand the story of your past and your present is shaping a future that is still unfolding.”

StoriesLossGriefReflectionNarrativeGrievingBereavementThe Past
Book:What's Your Grief?: Lists to Help You Through Any Loss
Create image

“His face paled, and he stroked a hand down the mare's cobweb-coloured mane. 'I was forced to watch as my father butchered the female I loved. My brothers forced me to watch.' My heart tightened for him- for the pain that haunted him. 'There was no magic spell, no miracle to bring her back. There were no gathered High Lords to resurrect her. I watched, and she died, and I will never forget that moment when I heard her heart stop beating.' My eyes burned. 'Tamlin got what I didn't,' Lucien said softly, his breathing ragged. 'We all heard your neck break. But you got to come back. And I doubt that he will ever forget that sound, either. And he will do everything in his power to protect you from that danger again, even if it means keeping secrets, even if it means sticking to rules you don't like. In this, he will not bend. So don't ask him to- not yet.' I had no words in my head, my heart. Giving Tamlin time, letting him adjust... It was the least I could do.”

GriefTraumaSarah J MaasControlFeyreFeyre ArcheronA Court Of Mist And FuryTamlinLucienLucien Vanserra
Book:A Court of Mist and Fury
Create image