“When we forgive someone, we don’t pretend that the harm didn’t happen or cause us pain. We see it clearly for what it was, but we also come to see that fixating on the memory of harm generates anger and sadness.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“Equanimity can be hard to talk about.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“Whether we fear the existence of boundaries with others or crave more of them, there’s no denying that individuation and separation are inevitable parts of loving relationships that become the site of tension.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“We have to know ourselves to know where we end and another person begins, and we have to develop the skills to navigate the space between us. Or else we will seek wholeness through false means that honor neither us nor those we love.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“When we can step back even briefly from our hurt, sorrow, and anger, when we put our faith in the possibility of change, we create the possibility for non-judgmental inquiry that aims for healing rather than victory.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“The more we identify and acknowledge moments when we’re unable to share in someone else’s pleasure and ask ourselves whether another person’s happiness truly jeopardizes our own, the more we pave the way for experiencing sympathetic joy”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“The more we practice sympathetic joy, the more we come to realize that the happiness we share with others is inseparable from our own happiness.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“Any time we find ourselves relying on the ideas of an absolute, frozen state of right and wrong—or fairness versus unfairness—that we are used to, we can compare the habit to distraction during meditation.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“Without equanimity, we might give love to others only in an effort to bridge the inevitable and healthy space that always exists between two people.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection
“How we traverse the space between us when conflict arises has a profound effect on the health and longevity of our relationships.”
Source: Real Love: The Art of Mindful Connection