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Quote by Joanna C. Valente

“It wasn't that I didn't love you– I needed protecting from my sisters & brothers / the ones whose anger I take because each pain means I was alive. My first memory comes not from your love but theirs.”

Quote by Joanna C. Valente

Book:Marys of the Sea
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Marys of the Sea

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Joanna C. Valente

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“I couldn't see her, a blackness hung before my eyes, but I felt her fall back and I felt her skin beneath my nails, her bones beneath my fingers, my beloved sister, my enemy, my protector, my betrayal-(you sent him to me!)-and then she was hitting me, shoving me to the ground, kicking my stomach, my side, my ribs, my head. She was screaming (I saved you, all those years it was me, I saved you, I was the only one who saved you, nobody but me) and above it Emily was wailing, stop it! stop it! you're hurting her! Then her small body was between Lilith and me, pushing Lilith away, but Lilith's hands were on her throat, (not you, you got none of it, ever, you were safe, safe, safe, SAFE) and I couldn't get up, my ribs were in agony, the world was spinning, but I got to my knees and I shouted, "Let her go!" because Lilith was shaking Emily back and forth so that her hair whipped and flew- and she did stop, for just an instant, Emily's pale, fragile throat in her hands, and the whole dark earth held its breath.”

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“For a split second, Elsa recalled a new memory of her younger self. She was building a snowman with another girl. They pulled the snowman around the room laughing. It was clear they loved each other. Her hands started to tingle in an unfamiliar way- they were warm- then the sensation was gone and she was left with a sharp headache. What was that? she wondered. The girl had to be in her imagination. She had never used magic before that week. Had she? Elsa stood up, her legs shaking. She held on to her bed frame to keep from falling. Heart pounding, fingers aching, she closed her eyes again and tried to remember the love she had just felt coursing through her veins. The emotion was stronger than fear. This feeling had come from building something out of love- a snowman for the two girls to enjoy.”

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“I understood that this sister of mine was going to live somewhere else, away from us...This information did not make me thing of the baby as less mine. She was my sister, like my brother was my brother and my mother was my mother. The adoptive parents' claim on my developing sister did not negate mine, she was not a kingdom or a territory or a thing with a deed; she was a person. This baby girl would be both my sister and these other people's daughter, and my mom's daughter. there would be moments when one claim took focus-- as right now this baby girl was more Ours than Theirs, and one day she would be more Theirs than Ours, but none of those connections could completely erase the others. It would be easier, perhaps, if they could, if after she was gone we could forget this baby ever belonged to us. But that's not how people work.”

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Book:Bastards: A Memoir
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