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Quote by Mehmet Murat Ildan

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Mehmet Murat Ildan
Mehmet Murat Ildan

Mehmet Murat Ildan is a renowned Turkish writer born on May 16, 1965. His works span various literary forms including novels, essays, and poetry, and have gained widespread popularity among readers. more

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“It can take forever for a willing underachieving to reverse his underachievement and become an achiever. There are about a handful of reasons for this. His empowerment needs for which he needs help with, his basic needs according to his age, his mental language and skills he must master typically slows down the process of reversal.”

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“All underachieving persons need help. All. No underachieving adult or child can reverse his underachievement by himself. With resilience and an inner locus of control, an underachiever can try though, but it wouldn't be as effective as getting help. Without help, an underachieving person would literally get little results compared to the effort put in.”

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“A Child always GROWS into his Area of Strength, then he CALLS it his IDENTITY If that child seems lost, it's cos he feels he has no "Strength" He would go searching until he finds it. Even if he finds it at the wrong place. That's why, it is okay to show your child the dream you have for him. So it may become where he finds his own. Or else, he could find it where you may not like. Every GROWING child looks to GROW into something that he can call his IDENTITY. His first love! Dance... Music... Sex... Cooking... Any hobby... Or interest... Any! Uncover that child's identity WITH HIM and FOR HIM... Before he gets it WHERE YOU would rather he doesn't.”

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“You need a Community to Parent your child. If you are the only one doing the "Parenting" trust me, you have a long way to go. Your child needs SOME skills you DON'T HAVE. If you had THOSE SKILLS, they still would need others YOU STILL WOULDN'T HAVE. My point? You ain't perfect! If you are the only one doing the parenting you are just starting. And I bet You, YOU WILL BE SO SLOW at it and their would be certain areas you can't touch. You need PARTNERS. Partners of your CHOOSING! Partners to help you reach your goal of PARENTING your child. Your pastor or imam for CERTAIN spiritual goals. Your FRIEND (who has been there, done that) for INSPIRING your child through an EXAM. Your Child's TEACHER for CERTAIN Learning objectives. A Mentor to TEACH your child (un)COMMON SENSE. A coach to SHOW your child the Way. Your Child's FRIENDS to teach him SOCIAL SKILLS. YOUR dad, to teach your child HISTORY of your FAMILY. YOUR GRANDMA to TEACH him Service to Elders. And so on like that... Small, small deliberate goals...for which you need a COMMUNITY of your CHOOSING. The key is to be DELIBERATE and PLAN ahead while sourcing for your PARENTING PARTNERS. It's your GOAL, not theirs. It's their STYLE not YOURS. It's their TIME not YOURS. AND YES, Its your CHILD, not theirs! It takes more than love to parent a child.”

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“Your school can do much more about Potential Development. Many schools focus on grades. That's cool. You can focus on potential development. That's better! Cos you get more benefits. For one such students get good grades in line with their potential. Cos they will be learning skills that make them better in many ways. Your teachers have different abilities, skills, motivation and giftings. Many of which are very relevant for developing student potential. Many schools put those to use only during sports. They assign the "sport-ish" teachers to sports days. And leave other teachers to watch. What about listing areas you generally want your students to be developed in? Areas that are based on the school vision and mission statements. Then assign EACH teacher an area or sub area - the teacher directly or indirectly looks to develop students in his or her area. Some kind of division of labour. A focused kinda style for making students meet your expectations. Many times, you find that schools can do more.”

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“When you use control tactics in parenting or teaching a child, you create some level of resistance AND some level of compliance. Over time compliance WOULD be more than RESISTANCE or RESISTANCE more than COMPLIANCE. Either way, you would LOSE something! RESPECT! When you force compliance in this way, the resistance that comes with it no matter how small would result in a big enough resistance that it becomes DISRESPECT. Then with that DISRESPECT will come LACK OF CONFIDENCE in your ABILITY to parent and TEACH that child. And gradually, you would have a RESISTANCE - so big it BECOMES RESENTMENT. If your goal is compliance and you value the relationship with that child, CONTROL TACTICS aren't worth it. You would END UP messing the CHILD UP - in more ways than ONE! And you would GET A BAD NAME, which sadly, you are DESERVING OF.”

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