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“Of course it seems ridiculous now, it seems stupid, to have suffered so much because of something so accidental and sort of frail which didn't have to happen and so very nearly didn't, and of course guilt is irrational, that was partly what made me think it would all vanish. But the irrationality is of the essence, it goes all the way through, it isn't any sort of fulcrum or escape route, it's the lot - I was destined to suffer stupidly, my mother suffered stupidly, my father suffered stupidly (...), it's what we were made for.” — Iris Murdoch
Of course it seems ridiculous now, it seems stupid, to have suffered so much because of something so accidental and sort of frail which didn't have to happen and so very nearly didn't, and of course guilt is irrational, that was partly what made me think it would all vanish. But the irrationality is of the essence, it goes all the way through, it isn't any sort of fulcrum or escape route, it's the lot - I was destined to suffer stupidly, my mother suffered stupidly, my father suffered stupidly (...), it's what we were made for.