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Quote by Nijiama Smalls

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The Black Family's Guide to Healing Emotional Wounds

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Nijiama Smalls

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“You see, the broccoli was yours and I give it back to you. The remote control is yours but I used to use it most and so now I give it back to you. The wardrobe should’ve been yours on that day we argued in Ikea, so I give it to you now. And finally this ring, in your hand, which represents my heart, is, was, and will always be yours. Even if you turn me down, I can’t ever take it back because it’s yours forever.”

“When someone ignores you, it's an intentional display of power. They're essentially acting like you don't exist, and they do it because they can. They believe that nothing will happen to them. Ignoring silences people. It intentionally avoids resolution or compromise. It ignites your worst fears of unworthiness because it makes you feel that you deserve to be ignored. Inevitably, being ignored puts you in the position of having to choose between making a fuss or accepting the silent treatment. If you stand up to the ignorer and get in their face, you break the norms of polite behavior and end up feeling worse, diminished, demeaned.”