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Quote by Darcy Lockman

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All the Rage: Mothers, Fathers, and the Myth of Equal Partnership

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Darcy Lockman

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“I have spent my life clinging to my own shores for safety. Flying like a bird above the storm waters of my own body, too scared to land. I guess that is why the sea floods in to visit me. I have been too frightened to venture out into her depths alone. The central core of me is dark and churning, I can only sense it vaguely. It scares me with its power. As a late-diagnosed autistic woman, I realise that this experience is partly neurological…my sensory abilities are all hyper-aroused on the surface, and my nervous system melts down when it becomes overwhelmed in everyday places. But my ability to know what is going on within is flawed. Instead of an accurate information readout, there is a big, dark, unknowable mass within. I am sailing blind without map or lighthouse within my own skin. It feels a very scary place to have a life sentence. This is why I write: to attempt to find words for what this big scariness is, to try and find images to give form and name to the wild churning expanse.”

WomenAutismSensitivityNeurodiversityHypersensitivityOverwhelmMeltdown
Book:She of the Sea
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“Saule pleureur ! Saule éploré ! Saule, corps et âme des femmes ! Nuque éplorée du saule. Chevelure grise ramenée sur la face, pour ne plus rien voir. Chevelure grise balayant la face de la terre. Les eaux, les airs, les montagnes, les arbres nous sont donnés pour comprendre l'âme des humains, si profondément cachée. Quand je vois se désespérer un saule je comprends Sapho.”

WomenLesbiansWillows
Book:Mon frère féminin
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“To summarize the two most common mistakes we make in relationships: 1. A man tries to change a woman's feelings when she is upset by becoming Mr. Fix-It and offering solutions to her problems that invalidate her feelings. 2. A woman tries to change a man's behavior when he makes mistakes by becoming the home-improvement committee and offering unsolicited advice or criticism.”

MenWomenRelationships
Book:Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
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“As a man experiences limits, he is motivated to give more. Through respecting limits, he automatically is motivated to question the effectiveness of his behavior patterns and to start making changes. When a woman realizes that in order to receive she needs to set limits, then automatically she begins to forgive her partner and explore new ways of asking for and receiving support. When a woman sets limits, she gradually learns to relax and receive more.”

MenWomenRelationships
Book:Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus
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