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Anatomy of Faith

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Summer Rivera

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“When it’s someone you know, when you can feel the span of their loss, it’s instinctive to think it costs that much to bring them back. What you did with ____ was put a part of yourself into reanimating him. In other circumstances, you could have reversed it, untethered yourself, but he took all of it with him when he was destroyed.” There was a pause. “You’ll recover, but it’ll leave a scar. You just have to stay grounded until your mind learns not to go there. Lucky for you, animancy should help with that.” “Did this ever happen to you?” He was silent for a minute. “Something similar once, but it was a long time ago.”

“When my relationship ended with Gabriel all those years ago, I was devastated for a while, and then I did what every self-respecting woman would do: I shut the door on it, on him. I taught myself to think of Gabriel as someone who belonged to my teenage years, a first crush, little more to me than my brief fixation with the singer Johnnie Ray. Seeing Gabriel again, like this, in the place where we once meant so much to each other, could she,e me to my core if I let it.”

“With Wang Qiyao’s flowery apron around his waist and a pair of protective sleeves over his shirt, he brought the meal to Wang Qiyao’s bedside, his hair mussed up, his forehead oily and perspiring, his eyes aglow with excitement. Tears rolled down her cheeks and into her bowl as she ate. Kang Mingxun watched helplessly on one side, looking very much like a waiter on duty. Soon he too became teary. They could no longer put it off: a decision had to be made.”

“»Ker te ljubim dovolj, si zate želim srečo. Če torej misliš, da ti bo najin razhod pomagal pri tem, ga sprejmem. Ne morem ga razumeti, a te ne bom več skušal prepričati v nasprotno. In ko boš prenehala bežati pred sabo in zakrpala rane, ki so te prisilile, da nama pomahaš v slovo, boš verjetno postala oseba, kakršna si želiš biti. In če te bo to osrečilo, bom srečen zate.«”

“You know,” I said, pulling my sleeves over my hands, “I don’t think people should talk every day unless they mean it.” She looked at me. “What do you mean by ‘mean it’?” “I mean… unless they plan to stay. To actually be there. Because otherwise, you’re just giving someone a habit. A dependency. And when you leave, it’s not just absence. It’s withdrawal.” She blinked, and said, “You’re not mad at them. You’re mad you let it feel like forever.” I laughed softly. “Exactly.”