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The Girl And The Silver Mark

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Dana Gricken

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“That was the winter of learning empty space. Learning a tight pressure around my chest, waiting to explode and break out. But no matter how far you travel or how long you wander, how cold it grows or how drunk you get, the tight pressure just stays in there. You meditate, pray, fast and run, thinking it’s some kind of detoxification process. A stone of toxic memories from all things yesterday and you just need to release it, let go and clean yourself pure. But the stone stays in there. A big, black stone of heaviness. Sadness.”

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“Outside, the wind was growing louder—now the trees beyond the window, like mourners, bent beneath the fury of the storm, and against the window, tracks of rain spilled sideways like lead. Dr. Stein walked to the window and pushed it up, old wood creaking and water blowing in onto his skin, cold. The darkness held only shadows but still he stared into it. He leaned his head out further, gripping tightly to the sill and pulling in. When he closed the window, the sudden barrier was jarring; he ran his fingers through his wet hair once and watched the rainbow sides of droplets falling.”

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“Gladly, I would give you my heart, but why take a broken one when you could have another one. After me, you can always return to a warm place where the sun waits for you. Still, I cannot return to a place that would no longer exist, a place where I had your love, a place where I treasured it but never held it too tightly so that you never lose the freedom so essential to you, a place where only fleeting moments is all we had. I am afraid of the darkness after you.”

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Author:Rolf van der Wind
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