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Quote by Colette Dowling

“(...) performance anxiety [in the worplace] is connected to other, more general fears which have to do with feeling inadequate and defenseless in the world: the fear of retaliation from someone with whom one disagrees; the fear of being critisized for doing something wrong; the fear of saying "no"; the fear of stating one's needs clearly and directly, without manipulating. These are the kinds of fears that affect women in particular, because we were brought up to believe that taking care of ourselves, asserting ourselves, is unfeminine. We wish (...) to feel attractive to men: non-threatening, sweet, "feminine". This wish crimps the joy and productiveness with which women could be leading their lives.”

Quote by Colette Dowling

Book:The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence
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The Cinderella Complex: Women's Hidden Fear of Independence

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Colette Dowling

Colette Dowling, born in 1938, is an accomplished writer known for her unique style and profound insights into the lives of women. more

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WomenFeminismPatriarchyGender RolesSocietal ConstructsCinderella ComplexEmotional Dependence
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WomenFeminismGender RolesMale PrivilegeSocietal ConstructsCinderella ComplexEmotional DependenceEconomic DependenceThe Fallacy Of Choice
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“Because of a profound, deep-seated doubt in their own competence, which begins in early childhood, girls become convinced that they must have protection if they are going to survive. This belief is bred into women by misguided social expectations (...) Girls are trained very differently than boys. The training leads to their becoming adults who stay stuck in jobs beneath their capabilities. It leads them to feel intimidated by the men they marry, and to defer to them in the hope of being protected. It even leads (...) to the crippling of women's intellectual abilities. Long praised by teachers for being diligent and dutiful in school, we who rely on dutifulness to get us by in the professional world son find ourselves being treated as if we were not quite grown up. (...) Not to be taken seriously. And (...) easily exploitable. (...) The way girls are socialized continues to predetermine an agonizing conflict over the psychological independence that's necessary if women are ever to spring free and take their place in the sun.”

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