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Quote by Mouloud Benzadi

“Be yourself, And take control of your own destiny. There is nothing more disgraceful in life, Than living someone else’s life.”

Quote by Mouloud Benzadi

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Mouloud Benzadi

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“When I suddenly see myself in the depths of the mirror, I take fright. I can scarcely believe that I have limits, that I am outlined and defined. I feel myself to be dispersed in the atmosphere, thinking inside other creatures, living inside things beyond myself. When I suddenly see myself in the mirror, I am not startled because I find myself ugly or beautiful. I discover, in fact, that I possess another quality. When I haven't looked at myself for some time, I almost forget that I am human, I tend to forget my past, and I find myself with the same deliverance from purpose and conscience as something that is barely alive. I am also surprised to find as I gaze into the pale mirror with open eyes that there is so much in me beyond what is known, so much that remains ever silent.”

“Secrets. Funny how, when you're about to be given something precious, something you've wanted for a long time, you suddenly feel nervous over taking it. Everyone wants more than anything to be allowed into someone else's most secret self. Everyone wants to allow someone into their most secret self. Everyone feels so alone inside that their deepest wish is for someone to know their secret being, because then they are alone no longer. Don't we all long for this? Yet when it's offered it's frightening, because you might not live up to the desires of the one who bestows the gift. And frightening because you know that accepting such a gift means you'll want-perhaps be expected- to offer a similar gift in return. Which means giving your *self* away. And what's more frightening than that?”

“He looked at me like I was the stars when all I’d ever felt like was the dark nothingness between them.”

“I didn't totally fit in. I kind of disintegrated around people and became what they wanted me to be. But paradoxically, I felt an intensity inside me all the time. I didn't know what it was, but it kept building, like water behind a dam. Later, when I was properly depressed and anxious, I saw the illness as an accumulation of all that thwarted intensity. A kind of breaking through. As though, if you find it hard enough to let your self be free, your self breaks in, flooding your mind in an attempt to drown all those failed half-versions of you.”

“—Deberíamos recoger nuestras cosas —dijo Gideon finalmente—. Y deberías hacer algo urgente con tus cabellos; parece como si algún idiota se hubiera puesto a revolver en ellos con las dos manos y luego te hubiera tirado sobre un sofá… Sea quien sea el que nos espere sabrá que dos y dos son cuatro… Oh, por Dios, no me mires así. —¿Cómo? —Como si ya no pudieras moverte. —Es que no puedo —dije en serio—. Soy un pudin. Me has transformado en un pudin.”