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Surrender Your Love

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J.C. Reed

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“According to Melanie Klein, we develop moral responses in reaction to questions of survivability. My wager is that Klein is right about that, even as she thwarts her own insight by insisting that it is the ego's survivability that is finally at issue. Why the ego? After all, if my survivability depends on a relation to others, to a "you" or a set of "yous" without whom I cannot exist, then my existence is not mine alone, but is to be found outside myself, in this set of relations that precede and exceed the boundaries of who I am. If I have a boundary at all, or if a boundary can be said to belong to me, it is only because I have become separated from others, and it is only on condition of this separation that I can relate to them at all. So the boundary is a function of the relation, a brokering of difference, a negotiation in which I am bound to you in my separateness. If I seek to preserve your life, it is not only because I seek to preserve my own, but because who "I" am is nothing without your life, and life itself has to be rethought as this complex, passionate, antagonistic, and necessary set of relations to others. I may lose this "you" and any number of particular others, and I may well survive those losses. But that can happen only if I do not lose the possibility of any "you" at all. If I survive, it is only because my life is nothing without the life that exceeds me, that refers to some indexical you, without whom I cannot be.”

LifeLossGriefMoralitySurvivalBoundariesDissociationSelf PreservationSeperationOthernessButlerBeing WithKlein
Book:Frames of War: When is Life Grievable?
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“They dreamed of living in the countryside, out of temptation’s way. They would live a calm and frugal life. They would have a white stone house, on the edge of a village, warm elephant-cord trousers, heavy shoes, anoraks, metal-tipped walking sticks and hats, and every day they would go for long walks in the forest. Then they would come back home, would make tea and toast, like the English do, put big logs on the hearth; they would play a quartet on the gramophone, which they would never tire of hearing, would read the great novels they had never had time to read, would have their friends to stay.”

HappinessCountry LifePerfect Life
Book:Things: A Story of the Sixties and A Man Asleep
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“Friendship is just a made up word that we think means: I know you and trust you more than the average person I know. It really means: somewhere in the creation of our destinies we were meant to be the missing piece of each other with a bind unequaled to anything else in the world. We were meant to stay together no matter the physical distance. As long as we can both look up at the night sky and see the same moon we'll always have each other in sight.”

LoveFriendshipSeperationDistance Relationship
Author:Stephenie C. Walker
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“Will you destroy something in order to make it beautiful? Will you avoid something in order to fall in love with it? Will you sacrifice something just so that you get it? Will you maintain distance from someone in order to get him close? We often make these mistakes. Life is short, every second counts, every moment is precious. Live at, live for and live always in present, for thats what you have right now with you, who knows what will tomorrow bring.”

LoveLifeTomorrowVanityMomentSeperation
Author:Hanif Hassan Barbhuiya
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