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Sometimes..: 101 Days of Healing Through Words

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Vishakha Jain

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“If she left- when she left- Antarctica would be a memory, than a memory of a memory, and eventually it would just be a story. Pearl would be just a story, a swirl of remembered feelings, someone she'd talk about at bars to strangers who would become friends and then strangers again. All these stories, what did they add up to? A life?”

“In our own variation of the KonMari method of cleaning out (focus on what you want to keep, let the rest go with gratitude), we have created our own rules of weeding out from all we have accumulated (of ours and others) over our various lives and lifetimes. They are: 1. Focus on what to keep (instead of what not to keep). 2. Is it growing mold? (Was it once fresh and yummy, but is no longer?) 3. Let it go with gratitude (whether giving it away, selling it, or throwing it out). 4. You can always take a picture (if you want to remember it). 5. Do we want our kids to have to go through it (after we're gone)? It makes a difference, thinking about it this way.”

“Anyway, is it hard for you to be in here? Or is it more of a comfort thing?' ... 'It feels like coming home, but not. And it's not that it's changed- this place never changes. Hell, I think change is the mortal enemy of a scribe. But I'm starting to realise that I've changed. I don't quite fit here. Not anymore.' 'Yeah. I get that.' Something in his voice tells me he really does.”

“So that’s how we live our lives. No matter how deep and fatal the loss, no matter how important the thing that’s stolen from us—that’s snatched right out of our hands—even if we are left completely changed people with only the outer layer of skin from before, we continue to play out our lives this way, in silence. We draw ever nearer to our allotted span of time, bidding it farewell as it trails off behind. Repeating, often adroitly, the endless deeds of the everyday. Leaving behind a feeling of immeasurable emptiness.”