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From Blood and Ash

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Jennifer L. Armentrout

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“If you need me, knock.' She paused. 'Princess.' I groaned. Hawke chuckled. 'I really do like her.' 'I'm sure she'd love to hear that.' 'Would you love to hear that I really like you?' he asked. My heart skipped a beat, but I ignored the stupid organ. 'Would you be sad if I said no?' 'I'd be devastated.' I snorted. 'I'm sure.”

“I hate this.' 'Hate what?' I asked, confused. Hawke didn't respond immediately. 'I hate talking to the veil.' 'Oh.' Understanding rippled through me as I reached up and touched the length that hid my hair. 'I imagine most people don't enjoy it.' 'I can't imagine you do.' 'I don't.' I admitted and then glanced around the room as if I expected Priestess Analia to be hiding somewhere. 'I mean, I'd prefer if people were able to see me.' He tilted his head to the side. 'What does it feel like?' Air hitched in my throat. No one... no one had ever asked me that before, and while I had a lot of thoughts and feelings about the veil, I wasn't sure how to put them into words even though I trusted Hawke. Some things, once spoken, were given a life of their own. ... 'It feels suffocating.' Hawke drew closer. 'Then why do you wear it?' 'I didn't realise I had a choice.' I looked up at him. 'You have a choice now.' He knelt in front of me. 'It's just you and me, walls, and a pathetically inadequate supply of furniture.' My lips twitched. 'Do you wear your veil when you're with Tawny?' he asked. I shook my head no. 'Then why are you wearing it now?' 'Because... I'm allowed to be without my veil with her.' 'I was told that you were supposed to be veiled at all times, even with those approved to see you.' He was, of course, correct. Hawke arched a brow. I sighed. 'I don't wear my veil when I'm in my room, and I don't expect anyone to come in other than Tawny. And I don't wear it then because I feel... more in control. I can make-' 'The choice not to wear it?' he finished for me. Nodding, I was more than a little stunned that he'd nailed it. 'You have a choice now.' 'I do.' But it was hard to explain that the veil also served as a barrier. With it, I remembered what I was, and the importance of that. Without it, well, it was easy to want... to simply want.”

“By embracing your subconscious, you gain a different way of seeing and experiencing—an expanded perception that opens a doorway, not only to lucid dreams, but also to the mythic dimension. As in lucid dreams, you see yourself or others with new eyes; your senses awaken and grasp an experience more fully than ever before; suddenly, you find your ears are open to hear with a deeper understanding.”

“You shouldn't have done that,' I told him. 'I should've allowed her to hit you? In what world would that have been acceptable?' 'In a world where you end up punished for something that wouldn't even have hurt.' 'I don't care if she hits like a baby mouse, this world is fucked up if anyone finds that acceptable.”

“Is it worth losing your position over and being ostracised for?' He glared down at me. 'If you even have to ask that question, then you don't know me at all.' 'I hardly know you at all,' I whispered, irritated by the sting his words left behind. 'Well, now you know that I will never stand by and watch someone hit you or any person for no reason other than they feel they can,' he shot back.”

“It seems to me that this honour that has been bestowed upon you comes with very few benefits. You're not allowed to show your face or travel anywhere outside the castle grounds. You didn't even seem all that surprised when the Priestess moved to strike you. That leads me to believe it's something fairly common,' he said, his brows dark slashes above his eyes. 'You are not allowed to speak to most, and you are not to be spoken to. You're caged in your room most of the day, your freedom restricted. All the rights others have are privileges for you, rewards that seems impossible for you to earn.”

“A heartbeat later, Hawke stuck his head out and looked up at me. The soft glow of the lamp glanced off his cheekbone as he raised a brow. 'Hi?' I squeaked. He stared at me for a moment. 'Get inside.' I didn't move. With a sigh so heavy it should've rattled the walls, he extended his hand toward me. 'Now.' 'You could say please,' I muttered. His eyes narrowed. 'There are a whole lot of things I could say to you that you should be grateful I'm keeping to myself.' 'Whatever,' I grumbled. 'Move back.' He waited, but when I didn't take his hand, he disappeared back into the room, grousing under his breath. 'If you fall, you're going to be in so much trouble.' 'If I fall, I'll be dead, so I'm not quite sure how I'd also be in trouble.' 'Poppy,' he snapped, and I couldn't help it. I grinned.”