Quotessence
Home / Quotes / Quote by Allyson Dinneen

Quote by Allyson Dinneen

“Growing up required to obey--and not trust what I wanted or how I felt--set me up to be an adult whose default is to do what others want me to do when I shouldn't. That really hasn't been good for me.”

Quote by Allyson Dinneen

Book:Notes From Your Therapist
Create image

Work

Notes From Your Therapist

Browse quotes and source details for this work. more

Author

Allyson Dinneen

Browse famous quotes and profile details for Allyson Dinneen. more

You May Also Like

“Attachment theory teaches us that true autonomy relies on feeling securely connected to other human beings. Current developments in the field of attachment science have recognized that bonded pairs, such as couples, or parents and children, build bonds that physiologically shape their nervous systems. Contrary to many Western conceptions of the self as disconnected and atomized, operating in isolation using nothing but grit and determination, it turns out that close-knit connections to others are in large part how we grow into our own, fully expressed, autonomous selves.”

ConnectionAutonomyAttachment Theory
Book:Turn This World Inside Out: The Emergence of Nurturance Culture
Create image

“The person who hurt you--who raped you or killed your family--is also here. If you are still angry at that person, if you haven't been able to forgive, you are chained to him. Everyone could feel the emotional truth of that: When someone offends you and you haven't let go, every time you see him, you grow breathless or your heart skips a beat. If the trauma was really severe, you dream of revenge. Above you, is the Mountain of Peace and Prosperity where we all want to go. But when you try to climb that hill, the person you haven't forgiven weighs you down. It's a personal choice whether or not to let go. No one can tell you how long to mourn a death or rage over a rape. But you can't move forward until you break that chain.”

Life LessonsPeaceConvictionRevengeMoving On
Book:Mighty Be Our Powers: How Sisterhood, Prayer, and Sex Changed a Nation at War
Create image

“Self-destruction meant nothing to those madmen, in their bomb-shelters, who were preparing for their own death and apotheosis. All that mattered was not to destroy oneself alone and to drag a whole world with one. In a way, the man who kills himself in solitude still preserves certain values since he, apparently, claims no rights over the lives of others. The proof of this is that he never makes use, in order to dominate others, of the enormous power and freedom of action which his decision to die gives him.”

PhilosophyDeathPowerDestructionMurderSuicideKillingRebellionAutonomy
Book:The Rebel
Create image

“...Freud's theory of self-determination...argues that human beings need three things in order to be content: They need to feel competent at what they do; they need to feel authentic in their lives; and they need to feel connected to others. He considered these three pillars--autonomy, competence, and community--to be intrinsic to human happiness.”

CommunityAuthenticityAutonomyHuman HappinessFreudConnection To OthersPersonal Competences
Book:We Need to Hang Out: A Memoir of Making Friends
Create image