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Snake Oil: How Xi Jinping Shut Down the World

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Michael P. Senger

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“You can see opposition and imposition or you can see an opportunity. As a part of the Slytherin House, I choose to see opportunity. If you’ve chosen to see opposition, and I seize your opportunity, I assure you that it is less selfless and more self-serving. In these situations you’ll walk away thanking me, but I’ll be all the richer for reaping the benefits of my choice, while you will walk away never knowing what you could have had.”

Slytherin
Author:Jennifer Megan Varnadore
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“You're a Parselmouth. Why didn't you tell us?" "I'm a what?" said Harry. "A Parselmouth!" said Ron. "You can talk to snakes!" "I know," said Harry. "I mean, that's only the second time I've ever done it. I accidentally set a boa constrictor on my cousin Dudley at the zoo once- long story- but it was telling me it had never seen Brazil and I sort of set it free without meaning to- that was before I knew I was a wizard-" "A boa constrictor told you it had never seen Brazil?" Ron repeated faintly. "So?" said Harry. "I bet loads of people here can do it." "Oh, no they can't," said Ron. "It's not a very common gift. Harry, this is bad." "What's bad?" said Harry, starting to feel quite angry. "What's wrong with everyone? Listen, if I hadn't told that snake not to attack Justin-" "Oh, that's what you said to it?" "What d'you mean? You were there- you heard me-" "I heard you speaking Parseltongue," said Ron. "Snake language. You could have been saying anything- no wonder Justin panicked, you sounded like you were egging the snake on or something- it was creepy, you know-" Harry gaped at him. "I spoke a different language? But- I didn't realize- how can I speak a language without knowing I can speak it?" Ron shook his head. Both he and Hermione were looking as though someone had died. Harry couldn't see what was so terrible. "D'you want to tell me what's wrong with stopping a massive snake biting off Justin's head?" he said. "What does it matter how I did it as long as Justin doesn't have to join the Headless Hunt?" "It matters," said Hermione, speaking at last in a hushed voice, "because being able to talk to snakes was what Salazar Slytherin was famous for. That's why the symbol of Slytherin House is a serpent." Harry's mouth fell open. "Exactly," said Ron. "And now the whole school's going to think you're his great-great-great-great-grandson or something..." "But I'm not," said Harry, with a panic he couldn't quite explain. "You'll find that hard to prove," said Hermione. "He lived about a thousand years ago; for all we know, you could be.”

AssumptionSuspicionHarry PotterSlytherinSalazarParseltongueParselmouth
Book:Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
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“...disband Slytherin! Why keep it? Do we need it? Why have one house that’s evil? Especially when your whole society is so scared of evil wizards they can’t even say one guy’s name out loud? Wizard hack: don’t send fully one-quarter of your children to Evil School, and maybe end up with 100 percent fewer evil wizards.”

MagicHarry PotterMovie CriticsSlytherin
Book:Shit, Actually: The Definitive, 100% Objective Guide to Modern Cinema
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“It matters', said Hermione, speaking at last in a hushed voice, 'because being able to talk to snakes was what Salazar Slytherin was famous for. That's why the symbol of Slytherin House is a serpent.' Harry's mouth fell open. 'Exactly' said Ron. 'And now the whole school's going to think you're his great-great-great-great-grandson or something -' 'But I'm not', said Harry, with a panic he couldn't quite explain. 'You'll find that hard to prove', said Hermione. 'He lived about a thousand years ago; for all we know, you could be.”

HermioneHarrySlytherinRon
Book:Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
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