“Personally I like to imagine something the size of a baby hippo, the color of a week-old boiled potato, that lives by itself, in the dark, in a double-wide on the outskirts of Topeka. It's covered with eyes and it sweats constantly. The sweat runs into those eyes and makes them sting. It has no mouth, no genitals, and can only express its mute extremes of murderous rage and infantile desire by changing the channels on a universal remote. Or by voting in presidential elections.” EyeRunningDesireDarkImagineWeekColorBabyMouthsUniversalElectionSizeExtremesWideRagePresidentialVotingLive ByCoveredSweatPotatoesMutePresidential ElectionInfantileHippo Book:Idoru Source: Idoru
“Everybody was upset that Vladimir Putin was missing. He was in Switzerland with his girlfriend. She had a baby in Switzerland because in Russia childbirth is not covered by Putin-care.” CareMissingBabyRussiaUpsetGirlfriendCoveredPutinChildbirthSwitzerland Author:David Letterman
“The anti-aging advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, 'Aah, I've used too much'” UsedToo MuchBabyAgingCoveredCreamAdverts Author:Andrew Bird
“Having a delivery covered by Medicare just isn't going to fly. It's too risky for a woman to put a baby down and not remember where she left it.” RememberLeftBabyDown AndCoveredDeliveryMedicare Author:Erma Bombeck
“I just had a pedicure. My feet are soft like a baby's behind. If his ass was covered in calluses.” IfsBehindsFeetBabyAssCoveredCallusesPedicures Author:Bob Saget
“The realities of getting up in the morning with two children and being covered in spit-up and totally filthy make me excited to imagine clothes that aren't made for baby puke. Dressing nicely is a dream now.” ChildrenMadeTwoDreamRealityMorningImagineBabyClothesExcitedCoveredDressingsSpitFilthyPukeSpit Up Author:Liv Tyler
“Down in the city are the nice houses and the so-so houses and the lovers making out in dark yards and the babies crying for their moms, and I wonder if, other than Jesus, has this ever happened before. Maybe it happens all the time. Maybe there's angry dead all over, hiding in rooms, covered with blankets, bossing around their scared, embarrassed relatives. Because how would we know?” IfsKnowsHappensHouseJesusDarkRoomsCitiesWonderNiceHappenedCryBabyMomLoversAngryScaredCoveredHidingEmbarrassedYardsBlanketNice House Author:George Saunders
“I knew it!" He pumps a fist into the air. "You've fallen in love with me. You want to have my babies. We'll get a team of horses and a covered wagon and we'll journey to South America and raise goats.” WantAmericaAirJourneyTeamBabyHorseRaisesSouthFallenCoveredFistsGoatsPumpsMy BabyWagonsSouth America Author:Laurie Halse Anderson