“I get asked to do benefits a lot and I've decided I've got to be a bit more discerning, I can't just do all of them. . . . I got asked to do a benefit for babies born addicted to crack. And I said well, all right, I'll help you raise money for them, but I think we both know what they're gonna spend it on.” ThinkingKnowsWellsSaidI CanHelpingBitsBornBabyBenefitsDecidedRaisesCracksDiscerningBaby Born Author:Laura Kightlinger
“Have you noticed that all you need to grow healthy, vigorous grass is a crack in your sidewalk? Having a baby is like taking your lower lip and forcing it over your head.” NeedsGrowsBabyHealthyLipsGrassOver YouCracksVigorousSidewalkHaving A Baby Author:Carol Burnett
“I believe the money I make belongs to me and my family, not some governmental stooge with a bad comb-over who wants to give it away to crack addicts for squirting out babies.” WantGivingBelieveI BelieveBabyMy FamilyCracksAddictCombsStooges Book:Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit Source: Andy Rooney: 60 Years of Wisdom and Wit
“We know, for instance, that there is a direct, inverse relationship between frequency of family meals and social problems. Bluntly stated, members of families who eat together regularly are statistically less likely to stick up liquor stores, blow up meth labs, give birth to crack babies, commit suicide, or make donkey porn. If Little Timmy had just had more meatloaf, he might not have grown up to fill chest freezers with Cub Scout parts.” IfsKnowsGivingLittlesProblemMightTogetherSocialBabyBirthMembersDirectSuicideSticksBlowStoresCommitInstanceMealsCracksChestsFrequencyLiquorLabsDonkeySocial ProblemsCubsInverseKitchen ConfidentialFreezerLiquor StoresMeatloafCub Scout Book:Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook Source: Medium Raw: A Bloody Valentine to the World of Food and the People Who Cook