“I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.” KnowsWayNeedsHomeBodyOrderProtectGunVotePoliceDemocratYour BodyLocalsVotingThievesMurdererInvasionIrresponsible Author:David Letterman
“"Gun-wielding recluse gunned down by local police" isn't the epitaph I want. I am hoping for "Witnesses reported the sound up to two hundred kilometers away" or "Last body part finally located".” WantTwoBodyLastsSoundHundredGunPoliceLocalsWitnessEpitaphRecluse Author:James Nicoll