“Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the country. They should win all their horse races, at least. 'In the fifth race today, every single horse was first equal...one horse threw a shoe came in third...the duck was ninth...and five ran.'” WorldShouldFirstsCountryTodayWinningBitsAnimalRaceFiveFourFeetLuckyEqualThirdsHorseShoesRanDucksFifthHorseshoes Author:Eddie Izzard
“Newt Gingrich says he wants to get rid of Social Security. Who is more qualified to give this country financial advice than a guy who ran up a half-million dollar bill at Tiffany?” WantGivingCountryGuySocialHalfMillionsAdviceSecurityBillsDollarsFinancialRanSocial SecurityQualifiedMillion DollarsNewtsDollar BillsFinancial Advice Author:David Letterman
“The combination of an out-of-control tabloid press and a readership that thrills to the destruction of the England head coach is something no other country can offer. Scolari was driven out; Steve McClaren's personal life made the front pages. Neither of them even held the job. Then there was the fake-sheikhing of Sven-Göran Eriksson. That a newspaper should so brilliantly and deliberately destabilise the national head coach in a World Cup year is something no other sporting nation would consider.” WorldShouldYearsMadeCountryJobsNationsFrontsFootballOffersPagesDestructionEnglandPressesDrivenCoachesNewspapersCupsManagersSoccerCombinationRanFakeOther CountriesPersonal LifeChairmanWorld CupTabloidsReadershipHead Coaches Author:Simon Barnes