“I've been doing stand-up for so long, I think 19 years, that I love topics I can also expand on. Once I identify a topic like, say, seafood, which is a big one right now, it's like there are different kinds of tangents I can go on to build a larger chunk.” ThinkingYearsKindLongI CanDifferentBigsGoes OnRight NowDifferent KindsTopicsSeafoodChunks Author:Jim Gaffigan
“I'm in, like, dating Babylon. Like, I go on dates with men and, literally, like Sarah Palin will come up in like the first 20 minutes, and that doesn't put me in the mood. Like, talking about Sarah Palin. And they just want to know gossip, and I'm just kind of taking a little hiatus from dating right now, because I just don't want to talk about Sarah Palin.” KnowsMenWantFirstsKindLittlesTalkingMinutesGoes OnRight NowDatingCome UpMoodGossipPalinBabylonHiatus Author:Meghan McCain
“There's a lot of money being generated by nerds right now. Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, the list goes on and on. Nerds make more money than our government. And with money comes power.” GovernmentGoes OnRight NowMarkBillsListsGatesMore MoneyLots Of MoneyNerdZuckerberg Author:Chris Hardwick
“I've discovered that, in order for life to go on, you have to believe in necessary fantasies such as what you think is going to happen next week will actually happen, the people who are alive right now will be alive next week.” PeopleThinkingBelieveHappensOrderNextFantasyAliveWeekGoes OnRight NowNext Week Author:Decca Aitkenhead
“Any professional league that goes on strike right now - that's just suicide.” Goes OnRight NowSuicideStrikesLeague Author:Charles Barkley