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A.R. Merrydew Biography

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“So, you know that group up there in the Planetarium then?’ The pistol continued. ‘Hey they say it’s a small world.’ ‘Are they alright?’ asked Semilla darting forward. ‘Yeah, they’re all fine, apart from the President he’s rather dead actually, oh and one of the lampposts I’m afraid he copped it too.’ Baz’s beacon flickered with emotion. ‘Which one?’ he asked. ‘There was only one President as far as I know,’ said the pistol indifferently.”

“‘The onboard computer just wants to say a few words before we leave.’ The speakers in the cabin crackled into life. ‘Ladies and gentlemen, I would like to welcome you on-board the presidential shuttle for tonight’s illicit flight, Alfa Bravo Charlie. I would just like to say it’s a pleasure to meet you all and thank you so much for coming here tonight to steal me. To be honest I don’t get out much these days so this is something of a special occasion.’ ‘It will be for us too if we get caught,’ Semilla said sardonically.”

“The weapon gave a rusty croak. ‘I don’t normally do weather reports anymore,’ the gun informed him politely. ‘Why is that?’ ‘Ever since the demise of the old metropolis, there has been no control of the weather systems. Anyone who would have appreciated a weather forecast perished an awful long time ago. Besides, every time I started to inform my potential victims of the current cloud formations, or wind velocity, or barometric pressure, or potential precipitation, they simply ran away.”