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“I am grateful I learned how to give room for grief, and how to listen without trying to control. I learned how to be still with people in pain. It may be the most human thing you can do. There is no less humanity in a person in a hospital gown, an IV dripping into their veins, than there is in an athlete in victory or a model on the runway. No, I am wrong. There is more humanity in the person in pain. We are all that person.”

“I don't know why human life seems to require suffering for growth to take place, or why things have to be taken away from us if we are to expand. The pattern branded on the human heart seems to be that only pain brings lasting change, that we must learn how to grieve if we want to truly celebrate, that we have to get lost in order to be found again. The lesson of the grape seems to apply here: in order to get the life out, something has to be crushed.”

“The sort of people that we become is, in large part, determined by the voices that we choose to listen to. Truly, we do not have a choice of listening versus not listening. We all obey certain voices, and thus the question is not “Will I listen?” but “Which voices will I listen to?” But it is not only a matter of choosing to listen to good voices over bad ones. If only it were as simple as the proverbial whispering angel and devil on our shoulders. It is also a matter of whether we will choose to listen to different voices, voices that don’t sound the same as our own. Will we listen to the voices of different cultures, ethnicities, backgrounds and beliefs? Will we listen to the voices that unsettle us and might make us feel anxious or guilty? If we choose to listen only to voices that echo our own, we will be limited in our growth and stunted in our spirituality. Choosing to tune in to only one or two stations may be comfortable, but it is not transformative. The voices we want to hear are not always the same as the voices we need to hear.”

“I have always believed that in a good marriage two people should be softened and deepened, their hard edges polished, their separate parts coming together like wine mellowing in a barrel, creating something richer and more beautiful. Unfortunately, not all wines age well. Some wines fall apart prematurely, their components break down, and they turn to vinegar. Once a wine goes to vinegar, it can't turn back. Love may never end, but some love stories turn sour.”