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Amy Engel Biography

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“I thought about all the press conferences I'd seen over the years, parents trotted out for missing kids, killed kids, abused kids. Everyone feels sorry for those parents, those mothers, until they don't. Until the mothers don't cry enough or cry to much. Until the mother are too put-together or not put-together enough. Until the mothers are angry. Because that's the one thing women are never, ever allowed to be. We can be sad, distraught, confused, pleading, forgiving. But not furious. Fury is reserved for other people. The worst thing you can be is an angry woman, and angry *mother*.”

WomenAngerPressureSocietal ExpectationsGender Constructs
Book:The Familiar Dark
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“Everybody grieves their own way. He's got his, and I've got mine. ... Personally, I'm a big fan of a bath. I get through my day, do what has to be done, and then at night I draw a hot bath. Sit in there as long as I need to, just wailing and carrying on. Some nights I worry I may never stop, turn into a human prune before I manage to wring out all my tears. But I figure eventually there's gonna be a day I don't need that bath. And maybe sometime after that, a whole week will go by before I have to go up and turn on the tap. Then, later on, maybe a month. But until then, I don't worry about it. Right now, the thought of that bath is what gets me through the day.”

Grief
Book:I Did It for You
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“Truth is, there's no good way to navigate being female in this world. If you speak out, say no, stand your ground, you're a bitch and a harpy, and whatever happens to you is your own fault. *You had it coming*. But if you smile, say yes, survive on politeness, you're weak and desperate. An easy mark. Prey in a world full of predators. there are no risk-free options for women, no choices that don't come back to smack us in the face.”

RealityDangerBehaviorSurvivalFemaleScary Reality
Book:The Familiar Dark
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