“The celebs I hate are the manufactured celebs. Famous people are surrounded by parasites and cocksuckers - people who hope to make a bit out of it themselves or grab a few crumbs from the table. But a while back one of these parasites figured out "why go through all the hard work of trying to discover a talented sucker before somebugger else does?". "Why not just CREATE one, right here, right now?". So they pick someone who maybe owns one or two bits of the celebrity toolbox - an arse that doesn't look like it fell off the back of a refuse truck, or a complete lack of self-consciousness - and teach them to simulate the other bits. It works fine for the cameras, but when you meet them in real life - oh dear.” InspirationalCelebritiesFakery Book:Andre's Adventures in MySpace Source: Andre's Adventures in MySpace
“As me old granny used to say before they carried her home to glory, there's three parts to a good sermon. First The Hook, then lay on The Guilt, then you deliver The Sting. I'll be sending the collection plate round shortly.” GrannyScamSermon Book:Andre's Adventures in MySpace Source: Andre's Adventures in MySpace
“Life's not always a bed of noses. "We've been put on this earth to do good, and as long as you can put you hand on yer heart and say you've done yer best you can gan to yer rest with an easy conscience," was what me granny used to say. Before they dragged her off to the funny farm dressed as a Christmas turkey (it were the stuffing that gave the game away).” LifeConscienceChristmasGranny Book:Andre's Adventures in MySpace Source: Andre's Adventures in MySpace
“Wikipedia is run by hippies of course - the same kind of impractical utopian losers who gave us the first affordable desktop computer and the iPod” WikipediaHippies Book:Andre's Adventures in MySpace Source: Andre's Adventures in MySpace