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Carolyn Bramhall Books

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“I was increasingly both horrified and sceptical about these memories - I had no recall of these things at all, though I couldn't imagine why I'd want to make it all up either. It felt as though it had all happened to somebody else, I was not there - it wasn't me - when those people did nasty things. But then, of course, it didn't feel like me, that's the whole point of dissociation - to create distance between the victim and her experience of the abuse. The alters were created for just that purpose: so that I'd not be aware that it happened to me, but rather to "others". The trouble is, in reality it was my body that took the abuse. It was only my mind that was divided, and sooner or later the amnesic barriers were bound to come down. And that's exactly what had begun to happen as I heard their stories. They triggered a vague and growing sense in me that this really is my story.”

MemoriesAbuseSecretsDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationAmnesiaMultiplicityMultiple Personality DisorderRitual AbuseChildhood AbuseSatanic Ritual AbuseMpdAmnesiac
Book:Am I a Good Girl Yet?: Childhood Abuse Had Shattered Her. Could She Ever Be Whole?
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“it felt increasingly, as I became more whole, that I had made it all up, and that I was a phoney. I had to come to some place of acceptance. If I made it all up, then I am an unspeakably evil person, leading so many wonderful, intelligent people astray. What a scheming mind I must have. I knowledge will be hard too live with. But harder still is the thought that perhaps, just perhaps it is all true; that I really was horribly, ritualistically abused in a satanic setting, over and over again and as a result my mind fragmented. The implications of that are completely overwhelming. It was me, my body, that they did those things to. No, I would rather believe I am an evil and deceitful person. At least the I can change, and say sorry, and live a better life from now on.”

MemoriesCrimeDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationMultiplicityMultiple Personality DisorderSatanicRitual AbuseSatanic Ritual AbuseMpdSraTrauma TherapyTrauma Experiences
Book:Am I a Good Girl Yet?: Childhood Abuse had Shattered Her. What Would it Take to Make Her Whole?
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