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Daisy L. Stewart Biography

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“Be aware that, for a man with a family, there is no such thing as "an inexpensive restaurant." Donald Trump may once have been able to pay cash for a 75-foot yacht, but he never had enough money in his wallet to cover the cost of buying soft drinks for a tableful of teen-agers.”

Family Cash Donald Trump Yacht Restaurant

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too

“It isn't easy, being a wicked stepfather. There are no guidelines. Western literature is filled with tips on how to become a wicked stepmother. Give your stepkid a poison apple. Make her clean the chimney while your daughters go to the ball. Ditch them in a forest and make them find their way home with bread crumbs. Stepfathers don't get an instruction manual. They have to learn to be wicked on their own.”

Children Humor Parenting Fathers Blended Family

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too

“Stepfathers are the relief pitchers of family life, substitutes brought in with the bases loaded and the opposing team running wild. They are second-string parents, bench warmers who weren't around at the beginning of the game when the rules were being made.”

Baseball Bases Parents Pitcher Game Bench Warmers

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too

“It’s bad enough that we tell jokes about our mothers-in-law. But we tell horror stories about our stepmothers. It was a stepmother who forced Cinderella to stay home with her head up a chimney while her grody stepsisters went to the ball. It was a stepmother who sent Hansel and Gretel into the forest with a pocketful of breadcrumbs.”

Cinderella Stepmothers Stepsisters

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too

“Stepmotherhood is not for the fainthearted. No woman marries a man because of his kids. She marries him in spite of them. The risks are too great and the rewards often are too small to be seen. No matter how or why you arrive on the scene, there is a good chance you will be regarded as a carpetbagger, capitalizing on a family's misfortune. If not the cause of it.”

Rewards Risks Stepmothers

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too

“I'm not sure what's in those treats. According to the labels, the ones in the blue cartons are flavored with chicken, the ones in the red cartons taste like meat and the ones in the pink cartons contain tuna. My guess is that all three are full of high-grade crack. There is nothing my stepcat, the junkie, will not do to get these treats. He will leap over a can of tuna to get to them. He will break into a cage filled with rabid pit bulldogs to get to them. He will confess is sins on Oprah Winfrey's show to get them.”

Cat Treats Cage Tuna

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too

“So we reached a compromise. It was item No. 1 in the prenuptial agreement. It was, in fact, the only item in the prenuptial agreement. Since she already owned a gas grill, I would agree to having occasional cookouts on our patio. But if she insisted on eating burnt food, she would have to burn it herself. As Donald Trump found out, a prenuptial agreement is not always worth the disappearing ink it is written with. On a Sunday afternoon of our first summer together, I find myself on the patio, chewing smoke. But it is a compromise.”

Compromise Sunday Donald Trump Prenuptial Agreement Grill

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too

“It is a satisfying sleep, made even more enjoyable by a dream which, as nearly as I can recall, has something to do with Marla Maples and a long feather. The details are hazy, but I remember her saying something about being sick of yachts and diamonds and what she really wanted all along was a middle-aged newspaper writer who could take her bowling. She is purring and calling me "The D.L." And then she produces this long feather and starts to brush it gently across my forehead, then down my cheek and over my lips and... Which is when I wake up and realize that it is not a dream. Something really is brushing across my face. I open one eye. The first thing I see is not Marla, It is not even Ivana. It is the southern end of a northbound cat. "Get out of my face," I mumble.”

Dreams Cats Diamonds Yachts

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too

“The family symposium on peace and brotherhood had begun with two kids on one chair, wrestling. A 13-year-old on another chair, grinning. An 11-year-old on the floor, bawling. Family unity was not going to be easy to sell to this crowd.”

Kids Peace Family

Book:Stepfathers Are People Too

Source: Stepfathers Are People Too