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“I loved him to death. Then I came to realization with how arrogant he was and instead of falling out of love, I fell harder. Every passing day I fell a little harder, a little faster, and a little sadder. I became anxious, obsessive, hurt, and sad. But one morning I awoke to realize I fell out of it. I loved him. I still do. But I was in love with him until the death of the relationship. Now I just love him. From afar. From the knowledge. From the happiness an individual gave me.”

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“He was my entire world. He still is. My best friend, lover, partner in crime and my other soul. But he didn’t agree. A person isn’t supposed to be your entire world, he said. But he’s wrong. When you love yourself, you love others. When you find yourself, you find others. When you create your world and it’s thriving, you create others. And I built an entire world for him. For us. As he once built for me.”

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“I remember things like dates down to minutes, what they smelled like, how they walked and how they tug their hands in their pockets. I twine myself in nostalgia of moments and not necessarily the people in them. I long for the idea of the past and occasionally forget the present. I find myself lost in memories, just looking to recreate the moment; forgetting the past is in the past and what we have is now.”

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“The beauty was nothing made sense. We were complex. We were intricate. We were designed with flaws which seemed to make everything perfect. But the defining word is seem. We don’t see what’s in front of us until it’s away from us. Until it’s behind us. Until it doesn’t bother us. Sometimes things aren’t perfect, yet they appear to be. Sometimes life doesn’t make sense until it does. But it always does.”

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“Sometimes I still think of you. It’s usually when the night’s chilly and nostalgia sets in. We remember moments to create bittersweet realities of past adventures which weren’t so. It wasn’t nice, it wasn’t fun, it was anxiety ridden and my mind created false memories to help sole the situation. It doesn’t help, it hurts, and that’s the reality you must remember when your mind gets the best of you.”

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“He called me crazy. A few times too many. To the point where I buckled thinking I was crazy. You can label me. You can yell at me. You can hurt me, but I’ll figure it out. I’ll run with the labels. I’ll run with the hurt. I’ll own it. I’ll love it. I’ll live with it knowing there was no real justification for any of it. Sticks and stones may break my bones, your words were always the hardest, but I got it. I’m here. Not there, but here. Not being, but becoming.”

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“There’s this belief that we’re supposed to love someone else, but we’re not. You’re supposed to love yourself and if someone comes along and you like the way they walk, talk and how your universes collide – then you go for it. If it doesn’t, you stop and take a step back and continue your journey. People complicate life and have this perception that we require someone constantly. But when it comes down to it, all we need is ourself as no one else can be us.”

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