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“I feel abnormally aware of the air in my lungs and of the blood in my body. Brian’s breath is loud and reminds me that he is a person and that he is alive and so am I. I put his hand on my throat to stop my breath and try to subdue this feeling of being a person who breathes and takes up space and fucks people, but he won’t keep his hand there. He moves it to my waist and kisses my forehead. I feel a cold rush down my body and suddenly I’m panicked. I wonder if Brian has ever been with a girl who loved him before. I wonder if there is a person out in the world who would feel sick at the thought of him being naked with me. I cannot shake this thought. I become sure of it. I suddenly feel a sickening, overwhelming guilt. I have to close my eyes to stop from crying at the thought of the girl I have imagined.”

“My earliest memory is of sitting at my mother's feet. She was standing with her shoes on either side of me. I think I must have been a baby. I don't think I could walk yet. She was wearing a long skirt. It was windy and her skirt draped over me, then blew away, then draped over me again. She was standing above me, and above her was the sky. I felt how I might inside a cathedral. Her legs were like stone pillars. Her skirt like an altar veil. I felt guarded by her. I thought of her as the sun.”