“That was really the question. Would I be okay without a child? Each night I sat with [my infant nephew] Connor and forced myself to go down the path of imaginary motherhood, suspicious of myself that this would be something that I would be willing to reject. Every night I expected to have a change of heart and come up with a different, more recognizable answer. But it never happened. Instead, sitting in the dark and quiet, something quite unexpected occurred. My life, precisely as it was--the product of good and bad decisions--began to come into focus for me. Sitting there, I could see it for the first time as something I'd chosen. Something I'd built intentionally, and not simply a makeshift thing I'd constructed as a for-the-time-being existence until something came along that would make me a whole person in the eyes of the world. Once I began to see it as such, it dawned on me that I had no wish to escape from it. On the contrary: I wanted it. I was choosing my life. I was willing to risk it.” FeminismBabySelf AcceptanceBabiesChoosing Your Path In LifeNo ChildrenNo Kids Book:No One Tells You This Source: No One Tells You This
“I have never been more relieved than on the morning of my fortieth birthday...it felt like I'd been released.” FeminismFortyGender RolesSocial PressureForties Book:No One Tells You This Source: No One Tells You This
“She leaned in and placed her hand reassuringly on mine. "And don't worry, dear," she said conspiratorially. "I know it will still happen for you. There's still time." There it was. ...But much to my surprise, I didn't need to lean on my collective self to navigate around this nice woman who thought she was providing me comfort by assuring me that, despite my age, I appeared to be someone to whom things could still happen...For a minute I felt all the old defense mechanisms go up, like metal toward a magnet. I took a deep breath and prepared to deliver my well-rehearsed responses...all the things I was used to saying to get out of this conversation and make the other person feel more comfortable. Instead, I found myself resisting the urge to laugh. Not at her. At the suddenly absurd idea that I was running out of time. I was no longer running, I realized. I was off the clock. "I have to tell you," I said, making sure there was not one ounce of defensiveness in my voice, "I think it's going to be pretty great even if it doesn't happen.” FeminismFortySingleSingle LifeLooking For LoveAgeismBiological ClockNo KidsWell Meaning And Failing Book:No One Tells You This Source: No One Tells You This
“We're the first generation that can make enough of our own money to live the way we want. I feel like we have a responsibility to figure out what this means.” FeminismEqual RightsGeneration XModern Woman Book:No One Tells You This Source: No One Tells You This